


Too Crazy To Love

by ValkyrieNine



Series: Too Crazy to Love [1]
Category: Gotham City Sirens (Comics), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Absurd, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Canon Divergence - Gotham City Sirens, Catwoman Flirts With Everyone, Descent into Madness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Gotham City - Freeform, Gotham City Sirens, Harley Quinn - Freeform, Heartache, Humor, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Part 1 complete, Poison Ivy - Freeform, Rain, Revenge, Scarecrow - Freeform, SuperCorp, Support Group, Therapy, True Love, Unrequited Love, WilliamDeyMustSuffer, catwoman - Freeform, common ground
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:53:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26845447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieNine/pseuds/ValkyrieNine
Summary: A few weeks after the Season 5 Finale...Racked with feelings of love and regret, Lena does her best to work with Kara to find Lex and take him down for good.When Kara cuts ties with Lena abruptly and pushes her away, Lena must decide if she will allow her Luthor darkness to take hold or if she will seek out a healthier option to deal with her pain.Lena travels to Gotham to meet with Bruce Wayne, a potential partner on a new project, and sees an ad in the local paper for a support group she thinks might help her deal with her feelings about Kara.Too Crazy to Love Support Group-----------------------------------------------------Has a Superhero or Supervillain played with your heart? Were you driven to the brink of madness by a masked manipulator? This is the group for you. Discuss what led you down the path to insanity in a safe and welcoming environment. It's time to heal.Meetings Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6:30 pm in the basement of Gotham City Church, room B128Coffee and Donuts provided.Contact Dr. Jonathan Crane, PhD @ (555) 867-5309 or email toocrazy2love@gmail.comPlease leave your weapons and wild animals at home. All are welcome.
Relationships: Catwoman & Batman, Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn & The Joker, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor
Series: Too Crazy to Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137902
Comments: 57
Kudos: 82





	1. I Saw You Standing In The Rain

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place a few months after the Supergirl Episode "Immortal Kombat" and six months after the Gotham City Sirens story "Division". There will be some canon divergence but I will do my best to stay true to the characters. This is my first GCS crossover. Please share your feedback. Thanks! Wishing you and your loves good health and happy hearts.

A steady rain blanketed Gotham City with a punishing force. Lena pulled into the parking lot of Gotham City Church and let her car idle for a moment as sheets of water coated the windows in a surreal blur. She could just make out the figures of other lost souls running through the rain, seeking shelter from the storm and their problems.

“I saw you standing in the rain on a night like this. You were holding his hand. I was going to tell you everything, confess everything. I don’t know how to smile anymore.”

Lena buried her face in her hands and shook her head. Suddenly she burst out into a hysterical fit of laughter. It was an eerie cackle. Not at all like Lena’s laugh. She could feel the madness taking over. She let out a guttural scream and slammed her hand against the steering wheel. The horned blared, causing the already nervous occupants of the parking lot to jump with fright. 

The basement of the church was at least fifteen degrees colder than the outside. Lena could feel the cold in her bones. She wasn’t eating and mostly persisted on scotch and whatever was lying around the L-Corp kitchen. Her assistant did a decent job of getting her lunch, but she never had the appetite. She was too depressed to want for anything anymore. 

It had been a hard winter. 

All seemed well when she and Kara stood together and agreed to team up to find Lex. Lena rejoiced. Her heart was whole again. Their conversation renewed her love in a way she never imagined. Coming so close to losing Kara made her take stock of her feelings, and she finally knew why she blew up and let her darkness take over. She was madly in love with her best friend. 

She knew it would be a long road to forgiveness, but she yearned to recover the intimate connection she once had with her sweet hero. She imagined there would be a day where they only had eyes for each other again. She was wrong. 

Their interactions, as of late, were strained and cold. Lena couldn’t help but feel like Kara just didn’t care the same way she did before. Even her body language had changed. They no longer hugged. There was no warmth between them. Lena knew she screwed up. She knew that she overreacted, and that Kara was still angry and hurt. What she never imagined was that things between them would implode so quickly. 

Lena opened the basement door and walked down a long, dimly lit corridor. The click of her high heels hitting the floor was almost deafening. Lena walked by other rooms full of people, support groups muttering about their problems, and shook her head.

“What am I doing here? This isn’t me,” she whispered under her breath. “I will not talk to strangers about my emotions. I don’t even speak to people I like about how I’m feeling. I used to talk to Kara, but that’s just a distant memory now.”

Lena pulled out her phone and scrolled. 

“Room B128,” she said aloud.

Lena groaned and adjusted the designer bag slung over her shoulder. 

“What am I doing here? Is this really where it ends, Kara?”

Lena walked down the hallway to the last door on the right. She placed her hand on the doorknob and held it there for just a beat. She took a deep breath and opened the door, surveying the dingy basement room and its oddball collection of occupants. A circle of chairs sat nestled in the center of the space. A table with coffee and donuts sat in the corner. 

“Nope,” Lena said as she closed the door and took a step back. “What the hell was I thinking? This will make nothing better.”

Suddenly the door opened, and a man in his early thirties greeted Lena with a smile. His tweed jacket, tousled brown hair, and glasses indicated to Lena that he was probably Dr. Jonathan Crane, the leader of the group. 

“Hi! Welcome,” Crane said cheerfully. “Are you here for the Too Crazy to Love support group?”

Lena didn’t know what to say. She was tempted to use a little of her French and feign an inability to speak English, but then she remembered what happened with Kara and she knew it was this or Arkham Asylum. It had only been a few weeks since they stopped talking, but it had taken a toll on Lena’s psyche. She found her thoughts wandering to nefarious places, her rage and indignation taking over all her common sense and intelligence. She knew she had no choice.

“Yes. Sorry,” Lena said, feeling a blush warm her cheeks. “I wasn’t sure this was the place.”

Lena hated feeling embarrassed. It annoyed her to feel so vulnerable. 

“I totally understand. Ours is an interesting group, but I assure you this is a safe place. I’m Dr. Jonathan Crane,” he said, stretching his hand to Lena with a friendly grin.

Lena took his hand and shook it. 

Crane opened the door fully and waved Lena inside. Lena took a step over the threshold, moving past Crane who stood uncomfortably close to her to hold open the door. 

“I’m Lena,” she muttered as she passed Crane. 

Lena had never seen so much brown on one man before. She walked toward the center of the room and took a seat on one of the folding chairs. 

“Would you like some coffee or a donut?” Crane asked.

Lena shook her head. 

“If you have some whisky over there, I’ll definitely take that,” Lena said, shutting down the exchange immediately. She folded her arms and sat back in a cautious posture, like a petulant child. 

“I think we have a quorum. Why don’t we get started? Does everyone want to find a seat?” Crane waved everyone over to the circle of chairs and took a seat himself. He pulled out a notebook from his leather satchel and beamed as everyone joined him. 

Lena surveyed the other three group members and snickered. 

“I feel like I might be slightly underdressed,” she said, staring at the woman across from her dressed in the skintight catsuit, cowl, and claws.

The woman sitting to Lena’s right had long blond hair pulled into two sloppy pigtails on the sides of her head. The left was dip dyed blue, and the other was a bright pink. She wore blue and red shorts, a red and white baseball tee and makeup to match. Instead of sitting flat on her seat, she squatted uncomfortably like she was about to pounce. 

“Well, shucks, we don’t judge. You’re a little plain Jane, but that doesn’t mean you’re not hurting like the rest of us.”

Lena chuckled to herself and shook her head. 

The woman on Lena’s left was an astonishing sight. Her hair was a blinding red, and she wore a green leotard made mostly of organic material. Her clothing seemed to come alive all around her, vines and leaves moving about her body to cover and protect her. 

“We sirens need to own and protect our identities. You, however, seem careless with yours, Ms. Luthor,” the redhead hissed as one of her vines made its way around Lena’s chair. 

“Leave her be, Ivy,” the woman in the catsuit said with a feline hiss of warning.”

Crane cleared his throat and shifted in his chair uncomfortably.

“Why don’t we establish some basic ground rules before we get started with introductions.”

“Somehow I don’t think this group is very adept at following rules, myself included,” Lena said, shaking her head.

Crane crossed his legs and scribbled in his notebook.

“Let’s try. First, we should agree that this is a judgement free zone. Everyone should have a say and deserves to be heard. Let’s agree to keep last names confidential. Anonymity is essential if we are going to trust each other.”

The women all snickered. 

“You’re kidding, right? Have you seen who is in this group?” Lena asked. 

Crane shifted in his seat once again. 

“I’ll admit that it may be silly to try to mask identities with such an infamous group of members, but let’s try. Who would like to go first? Just tell us your name and why you joined us this evening. How about you?” Crane pointed to the woman slinked over the chair in the black catsuit. 

“Who, me? That would be puuurrrfect,” she said, rolling her r and facing the group. 

Lena had to bite her lip to prevent herself from laughing. 

_This is beyond absurd. Come on_ , she thought to herself.

“My name is Catw… W. Yeah, Cat W. but you can call me ‘Cat’. I am here this evening because a certain caped crusader who likes to hang out in caves, let’s just call him ‘B’, has been toying with my heart for years and I need to talk to someone or I will act out and Gotham City does not want to see this pussycat act out.”

Crane scribbled down some notes in his notebook. 

“Thank you for sharing Cat. If you feel comfortable, why don’t you tell us how this ‘B’ has been toying with your heart.”

“Oh, brother!” The colorful blonde said with an eye roll. “If we’ve heard it once, we’ve heard it a thousand times.” She turned to Lena and grinned with lunacy twinkling in her eyes. “Hiya, I’m Harley. Harley Quinn.” 

“Please, let Cat speak and remember, we said no last names. You may have heard this story before, but we are all gathered here so we can find some peace and speak about what is bothering us,” Crane said, giving Lena a kind smile. 

Lena’s brow furrowed. She crossed her arms around chest her tighter.

“I don’t think any of our identities are a mystery,” Lena said.

“Thank you, Doctor Crane,” Cat said with a little purr. She licked the back of her hand and rubbed it against her face.

 _This is a madhouse. Did she just bathe herself? I guess I’m not as crazy as this bunch of costumed nut jobs_ , Lena thought to herself.

Crane leaned in and grinned. 

“Please relax and tell us your story.”

“I’m a cat. I climb, I pounce, and my talents tend towards the more felonious arts. I can slink quietly through the shadows, scale any dark building, and take anything shiny and expensive that catches my eye. When B and I first met, we were adversaries, but that quickly changed. He wanted to take me down, but my feline femininity lured him in. We’ve been playing this game of cat and bat for far too long. It’s always the same. I do what I do best, he catches me, we share a romantic moment, and then he tries to take me to jail but he can’t because he loves me too much. I’m used to the mixed signals. That’s part of the fun.”

“So, you’re happy?” Crane asked.

“I’ll admit our relationship was toxic at the beginning, but this pussycat only purrs for one dark and broody boy, so I tried to make a change for him. I tried to do good and be a hero, but I lost his trust and now he isn’t speaking to me. He said if he sees me again, he will take me to jail. I tried so hard to be good.”

“What made him lose his trust?” Lena asked, hating that she was already becoming invested. 

“He discovered that I had been helping a couple naughty kittens avoid capture, and he blew his bat cowl,” Cat said, eyeing Harley and Ivy.

“You’re too good for him, anyway. All he did was mess with your heart, and for what? He wanted to change you and no man has the right to do that,” Ivy said, giving Crane the evil eye.

Crane cleared his throat nervously and turned to Cat. 

“I’m sensing there is a bit of history here.”

“Harley, Ivy, and I go way back. We used to run in the same circle and we even lived together. We parted ways, but I guess destiny will always bring us together,” Cat said with genuine affection.

Lena rolled her eyes. _Supervillains_ , she thought to herself. _They’re all the same_. 

“Let’s just say B was none too happy when I let you girls go. That made kitty’s claws come out, and we had a bit of a showdown. He pushed me away and told me if he ever saw me again, I would be behind bars. It crushed me. It felt like he dropped a bucket of water on me. I hissed and clawed at him and vowed never to speak to him again. I was so angry. I lost my mind a little.”

Harley turned to Crane and motioned for him to lend her his glasses. 

“May I, Dr. C?”

Crane took off his glasses and handed them to Harley cautiously. 

She placed the glasses on her face and pressed her hand to her chin thoughtfully. 

“And how does that make you feel, Cat? I know all of us have an abandonment complex. You more so than any of us. I know your fear of being a stray.”

“Harley, may I have my glasses back please?” Crane asked, annoyed.

“Sure, Dr. C. No problem! A bit of the old me was coming out there for a bit,” Harley replied with a big grin. 

Crane slipped on his glasses and scribbled down more notes.

“So, Cat. Why are you here? What are you hoping to get from this group?” Crane asked thoughtfully.

Cat stood up and moved over to Crane. She sat in his lap and pressed her body against his. Cat’s touch was stunning. She slowly ran her claws along his five o’clock shadow and purred.

“Well, I suppose the reason I’m here is that kitty’s mind keeps wandering to the darkest recesses. I just lay in my bed, bathe the day away, and imagine ways to hurt B the way he hurt me. He really enjoyed playing with kitty’s mind. He felt nothing genuine. He enjoyed the ego boost and the tongue baths, but he just used me up and tossed me off the building like a terrible bat. Good thing I have nine lives and landed on my feet. He wanted me to hurt, but I won’t give him the satisfaction. Sure, Gotham City is so enamored with their little batboy, but I want to make him pay for teasing kitty and flinging her away with the litter.”

“Are you for real?” Lena asked with a chuckle. 

Cat’s eyes glassed over, and she flared out her sharp claws. She let out a long hiss and returned to her own seat. She stared down at the ground, distracted by her pain.

“Thank you for sharing, Cat,” Crane said with a sad smile. “Would anyone like to go next?”

Cat’s words shockingly touched Lena. She wasn’t sure why she attacked her. She might be insane and wearing a catsuit, but her pain was real, and Lena could sympathize. She knew what it was like to be tossed away so carelessly. 

Harley raised her hand high and blew a big pink bubble with her bubble gum. 

“I’ll go next,” Harley said with a cheerful smile. 

Lena sat back in her chair and readied herself for the real madness.

“Mr. J and I have had our share of difficulties. Gosh, ours is a real love hate relationship. I love him and he hates me. When we met, it was a romance made in heaven. He was my patient, and I was his doctor. I know what you’re going to say. Major conflict of interest, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I was there for him, rain or shine, his faithful love and companion. I did everything for him. He tossed me into a vat of toxic chemicals, and I forgave him. I stole, I threatened, and I did all kinds of wrong for him, but all I ever got from him was verbal, psychological, and physical abuse. No matter how hard I tried to love Mr. J, he never appreciated it. I stood by him, built him up, and gave him every part of me, but he never really grasped how much I loved him. He got off on the ego boost, but he never loved me.”

Lena noticed Ivy stiffen every time Harley mentioned “Mr. J”. 

“He’s a despicable madman who never deserved you,” Ivy said to Harley. “I thought you finally learned your lesson. He is only capable of abuse, Harley. He will never show you the love you deserve. I should kill the lunatic for you.”

Harley avoided making eye contact with Ivy. Instead, she focused her attention on Lena. 

“I thought he was out of my life for good, but that’s what he does. Mr. J walks away, breaks my heart, and then he comes back when he needs something and toys with me again.”

Crane scribbled notes wildly and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“And why are you here, Harley?”

“I hear voices in my head telling me to do terrible things to him. He hurt me so bad and all I want is revenge. Everyone tells me not to think about it, but I can’t. Everything that Mr. J did to me replays in my mind when I lay in bed at night. I gained so much confidence when I lived with Ivy and Cat. Now I feel like I’m just not good enough. I just hear a voice in my head telling me I need to finish what I tried to start in Arkham when I let him escape. What Can I say? When it comes to Mr. J, I’m not in my right mind.”

“That is purrrrfectly hilarious. Sweetheart, you’re never in your right mind. None of us are. That’s why we are all here. It’s in the group name. We are just too crazy to love,” Cat said, giving her hand another lick. “Voices aren’t new with this one. She talks to a stuffed beaver she named Bernie. She can have a full-on conversation with the thing,” she said with a cruel chuckle.

“Leave her alone!” Ivy yelled angrily. Her vines jumped out and surrounded Cat aggressively. “It’s not her fault. Just stop picking on her.”

Cat crawled back into her chair and hissed loudly.

“Fine, Ivy. Calm down. I forgot how protective you are when it comes to Harley.”

Ivy turned to Harley, and her face softened. 

Harley gave Ivy a sweet smile. 

“You’re perfect. Don’t let anyone take your confidence away,” Ivy said to Harley. 

Harley blushed and turned her face away.

“Would you like to share why you are here this evening, Ivy?” Crane asked. 

“My name Ivy, as all of you know. I really don’t know why I’m here. I suppose I am just dealing with some unresolved feelings I have for someone who I know can never love me.”

Crane turned to Ivy and adjusted his glasses. 

“Have you spoken to this person? Do you know for sure that they can never love you?”

Lena watched Ivy and Harley. She could see the strange connection between them.

“We had a conversation, but I know that she has unresolved feelings of her own. They just aren’t for me.”

“She? Okay.” Crane said blushing. “What are you hoping to get from this group?”

“I really don’t know. I confessed my feelings and walked away. I really thought I could move on and forget, but I love her just as much now as the day we parted.”

Harley and Ivy both blushed. Their connection was unmistakable. 

Lena could sense that they had a history. Ivy’s tenderness and compassion shocked Lena to her core. She had read about Ivy. She had read about all the members of the group. Ivy’s claim to fame was her criminal enterprise in the name of protecting nature. That and her vocal hatred of men. It surprised Lena that Ivy was so warm.

Ivy ran her hand through her vines, calming them down. She averted her gaze, but Lena could see tears falling down her cheeks.

“You know, I think we could all use a break. Let’s take fifteen minutes and regroup,” Crane said.

Lena looked at the lady villains surrounding her and wondered how they allowed themselves to be so vulnerable. She judged them for wearing Halloween costumes and being crazy, but Lena couldn’t help but respect their ability to feel. She grabbed her bag and stood up. She made her way towards the door when Crane called out to her. 

“You’re not leaving already, are you?”

Lena turned around and made eye contact with the enthusiastic doctor. 

“I just need a little air.”

“There’s a terrible storm outside. You’re not planning on coming back, are you?”

Lena lowered her voice and leaned in. 

“I don’t think this is the place for me, to be honest.”

“I know we have an eclectic group here, but as you’ve heard, everyone is suffering and in pain.”

“It feels absurd to sit in a circle with costumed supervillains, but that’s not why I’m leaving.”

“I hope I have done nothing to offend you.”

“Not at all. I just can’t imagine sharing my feelings the way everyone else has.”

“You’re guarded. That’s okay. Just listen and decide how much or how little you want to talk.”

“That’s just it. I’m not just guarded. I am broken.”

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“No. Go ahead.”

“When you leave here, what will you do? Where will you go?”

“Back to my hotel. I’ll drink a half a bottle of scotch, cry and go to bed like I do every night.”

“I know this group may seem strange, but don’t you think it would be better for you to be here rather than be in some cold hotel room drinking by yourself?”

Lena thought for a moment. She knew Crane was right. Her heart was breaking, and as a result, it was hardening and turning black. She could feel her Luthor darkness overwhelming her more every minute of every day. She got lost in her thoughts of indignation and heartache, and she worried that there would be no way to dig herself out of the depths of her sorrow unless she tried something different. Kara was no longer hers. She no longer wanted Lena in her life. Lena had to face the stark reality that she may never see or hear from the woman she loved again. Lena texted. Kara ghosted. Lena’s heart broke with the force of a thousand gales.

Lena walked back inside the room and sat back down in her seat. The others grabbed their coffee and donuts and returned to the circle. Lena cleared her throat and rubbed her hands along the top of her legs.

“Hi, I’m Lena and Supergirl broke my heart.”


	2. In Spite Of The Ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Encouraged by her unlikely supporters, Lena explains how Kara broke her heart.

“Supergirl, eh? Wasn’t expecting that,” Harley said. “She’s quite the looker.”

Cat turned to Lena.

“I’ve always thought she was suspiciously cheerful. I’m sorry she broke your heart. Kitty knows it’s difficult. ‘Never trust a cape’ is my new motto.”

Lena noticed that Ivy was suspiciously silent. The plant-based siren looked at Harley and averted her gaze once more.

“Do you want to tell us what happened?” Crane asked.

Lena’s head dropped, her shoulders slumped, and she stared down at her hands, milky white and shaking.

“I loved her more than life. I would have gladly given up breathing to see her smile.” Lena stopped for a moment and her mind wandered back to that first day they met in her office. “I knew I loved her the day we met, but it took a long time for me to understand that my love transformed from simple friendship to something so much more intense. It all started out beautiful. When I moved to National City, I was terrified. My family doesn’t exactly have a sterling reputation. I was sure that the people would force me out of the city like a pariah, but I found a friend, a soulmate.”

Lena smiled sadly. A tear fell down her cheek. She hadn’t even noticed until Cat handed her a tissue. Lena appreciated that she retracted her claws.

“She was so soft, so warm. She didn’t know how amazing she was. I still remember that smile, that perfect smile was for me and me alone. The sound of her voice soothed me in a way I never imagined possible. Every part of me wanted to put up a wall, but she wouldn’t allow it. She knocked down all my protections with her love. She enveloped me with her affection.”

“It sounds like you two had a very special connection,” Harley said, without a hint of humor or whimsy. She just nodded and gave her a sad smile.

“We did. Ours was a beautiful friendship. She saw the good in me. No matter how terrified I was that I was like my family, she stood by me, wrapped an arm around me, and refused to let me slip away.”

“What happened? What brought on the change?” Crane asked.

“We were as close as two friends could be. In retrospect, I may have been more attached than she was. She is a superhero. When we were together, we only had eyes for each other. No one made me smile the way she did. She made my face hurt. I loved her with every breath, every step. My day started, and she was the first vision in my mind. Everything was great until it all fell apart around us. She welcomed me into her world, and I built my entire life around her. I had a business to run, new inventions to discover, and my crazy family to contend with, but my every thought was of her.”

Lena looked around the room and noticed that everyone was leaning forward, their eyes focused on her.

“I’m sorry I’m monopolizing the time,” she said, feeling exposed.

“You aren’t monopolizing anything, Lena. Go ahead. Please continue,” Ivy said with a genuine smile.

“We were happy. I was happy. Sure, we were only friends, but seeing her always improved my day. We looked for any excuse to get together and have lunch or grab coffee. She was everything to me and then one day, everything imploded, and I lost my mind.”

“What happened?” Harley asked.

“I found out she had been keeping a secret from me. Not just a secret, but the biggest secret of her life. The worst part was that everyone in her life knew except for me.”

“Jeez, that’s rough kid. You were her best friend,” Harley said, wrapping her hair around her finger and blowing another bubble with her gum.

“As you can probably imagine, it upset me. At first, it crushed me. I couldn’t believe I was the last person to know. I didn’t even find out from her. My scumbag brother told me. It devastated me. The problem I have when I get sad is that I don’t like feeling like a victim, so I get angry. I had never been angry with her before. We had our squabbles here and there, but she was my heart. I couldn’t be angry at her, or so I thought. Every hour that ticked by fueled my rage and indignation. Every time I saw her, and she didn’t say a word, I felt the fury boiling over. Finally, I snapped. I don’t mean a little. I mean a full-on One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Arkham Asylum crazy. All I wanted to do was hurt her for betraying me. I felt like I never knew her. How could I if I never knew her secret?”

“You couldn’t. She was purrrfectly awful to you. I would have clawed her eyes out,” Cat said with a hiss.

“Oh, I did so much worse than that. Every part of me wanted to hurt her for hurting me. At first, I didn’t understand why I was so upset. It was a secret. She was my friend. It didn’t seem like it should be that devastating, but it was. It was heartbreaking and when I get my heart broken, I lash out.”

“All of us do dear,” Ivy said, her vines curling around Lena’s chair protectively.

“I did everything I could to hurt her. I used kryptonite against her, I betrayed her, I even worked with my brother. It brought me no peace.”

“Why do you think that is, Lena?” Crane asked.

“Because I knew that the reason I lashed out and went crazy was because I was madly in love with her. I knew she had stolen my heart, and I just wasn’t willing to face it. I looked at my brother and I knew I couldn’t become him, or she would never love me. I knew I had to find a way back to her. She apologized to me many times, but I just couldn’t hear it. I didn’t want to hear it because I was so hurt. The last time she came to me, instead of an apology, she told me she was done. She told me if I continued working with my brother that she would treat me just like any other villain. Her words made me bleed. It was the worst pain I had ever experienced. Supergirl doesn’t give up. She always keeps fighting for what is right. The problem was, I wasn’t right.”

Cat leaned in closer.

“What did you do?”

Lena unfolded her arms and relaxed a little.

“I went to her apartment, and I told her how sorry I was. I told her that my brother was up to trouble and I wanted to help her put an end to it all.”

“Did she believe you?” Crane asked.

“She did. No matter how angry and hurt she was, she knew I was genuine. She could always read me like a book. It was her real superpower.”

“Did you stop your brother,” Harley asked, inching closer to Lena.

“For the moment, but we knew he would be back. It was hard. When we were working together, it felt like old times, but it also didn’t. I saved her life twice and helped her protect her secret from the bastard she is dating now. Go figure! I did everything I could to show her how sorry I was. When she told me her side of it all, I understood how wrong I had been. She didn’t keep the secret from me because she didn’t love me. She kept it from me because she loved me. She wanted to protect me, and I mattered more than anyone else to her. I was so wrong. I’ve never been more wrong.”

“Well, golly Lena, you’re human. We all get it wrong, but your only crime was loving her too much. Trust me, I know how that feels.”

Lena looked over at Harley and smiled. She didn’t know why, but speaking to the group was oddly comforting. Sure, they were all costumed lunatics, but they were all listening attentively and supporting her. She hadn’t felt that kind of support in a long time. Not since Kara had abandoned her.

“Thanks, Harley. I appreciate that. I appreciate all of you letting me get this out.”

Crane gave Lena a kind smile.

“That’s why we’re all here. We all need to heal.”

“We?” Lena asked. “So, you’re not just a doctor studying us?”

“Nope. I’m one of you,” Crane said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“It’s your turn to share then,” Lena said.

“No. Not tonight. Lena, if you feel comfortable, why don’t you continue?”

“Okay. So, I saved her twice, protected her secret, and after we shut down my brother for the time being, we agreed to work together to take him down for good. We knew it would be a long road to recovery, but my heart was filled with hope again. It was a feeling I hadn’t experienced in an awfully long time.”

“So, how did you get here, kitten?” Cat asked.

Lena’s head dropped once more. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

One of Ivy’s vines wrapped itself around Lena’s shoulders, and Harley dragged her chair closer to Lena’s.

“I’m sorry. This is just new to me. It just hurts so bad,” Lena said, choking back her tears. “I usually repress my feelings. Saying all of this out loud makes me feel so vulnerable.”

“Take your time, honey. It’s rough.” Harley said with an encouraging nod.

“We got together and started looking for Lex, just as we had agreed to. I expected that the first couple of times would be awkward, but I did everything I could to inject happiness and positivity back into our friendship. I wasn’t brave enough to tell her how I really felt, but I wanted her to know I was fully invested. The only problem was that she wasn’t.”

Crane dropped his notebook and pen by his side and gave Lena his full attention.

“How so?” Crane asked.

“She was cold and distant. We didn’t hug or even touch. I greeted her with warmth and love, she greeted me with cool disdain. I was so confused. I knew she was angry, and she had every right to be. I wasn’t discounting that. The problem was, she didn’t feel like my Kara anymore. She was a completely different person. There was no love, no warmth, no loyalty. The first meeting we had, she seemed eager to get away. I chalked it up to nerves and her busy schedule saving National City.”

“Makes sense,” Cat said, scratching behind her ear.

“We had three subsequent meetings, and they were all the same. No warmth, no love, no care. And I was the one who had to set up the meetings to begin with. She apologized for being so far away, but her apologies weren’t sincere. Finally, she snapped at me one day and I knew. I knew there was something wrong. I had stood by her, supported her, shown her every bit of love I could, but she was just cold and bitter.”

“I wonder what changed,” Ivy said, entranced by the story.

“I confronted her. I asked her why she was being so cold. I asked her why she snapped at me so aggressively. She didn’t even seem like herself. At first, she just apologized and said she was feeling a bit down. I didn’t buy it. Everything came to a head when she missed a meeting and didn’t call. I had to hear from her sister she was in Metropolis. I was beside myself. I felt like I mattered even less than when we were fighting. I was so angry I couldn’t stop crying.”

“That’s not right. She left without telling you?” Cat asked with a hiss.

“Yes. She left, said nothing, and ditched me. When I confronted her, she said she was feeling ‘numb’. It confused me. When I asked her to elaborate, she said that she felt nothing. She didn’t know why. She just couldn’t feel. I asked her if she had been exposed to some poison, some new form of kryptonite.”

“Was that it? I bet that was it,” Harley said with her characteristic optimism.

Lena leaned forward and rested her face in her hands. She moved her hands away but continued to stare down at the ground.

“Nope. No poison, no kryptonite. No outside influence of any kind. She said she was feeling numb, but she was primarily finding it difficult to feel anything for me. She said that when it came to me, she felt nothing at all. She gutted me. I didn’t know how to respond. The pain and indignation bubbled up inside of me. It wasn’t fair. I know life isn’t fair, but how could she feel nothing when I felt so much? Her eyes were so dead. I was speechless. I could feel my heart breaking apart in my chest, all my breath escaped me. She said that she had let go of her anger, but she still remembered the way I turned on her. She remembered how I had changed. What could I say to that? I knew I was wrong. I knew that I had screwed up, but the pain inside of me turned to rage. Nothing? She really felt nothing. After everything we had been through, she was a cold block of superhero frozen in time.”

Lena sobbed quietly, trying to regain her composure. Cat handed Lena more tissue and Harley placed a hand on her shoulder. Ivy’s vines curled closer to Lena and caressed her back.

Lena blew her nose and tried to pull herself together.

“Do you need to take a moment, Lena? We can grab you some water or some coffee,” Crane said.

“Kitty can go to the nearest liquor store and get you that scotch you wanted,” Cat said with a sad smile and a little purr.

Lena sat back in her chair, still dabbing at her eyes. Her signature red lip was just a smear, and her mascara was blotchy.

“No, I’m almost through it. I can do it,”

“You sure can, kid. We’ve got your back. You can do it.” Harley said grabbing Lena tighter.

“I’m not proud of what I did next. I think her telling me she felt nothing broke me. It broke my mind, my heart, and my soul.”

“What did you do?” Ivy asked.

“I told her that if she felt nothing for me, then there was no point in us trying to force a friendship that clearly wasn’t there. She told me she was trying, but all I heard was that after everything we had been through, I didn’t matter to her anymore. I wasn’t a thought in her mind. She no longer wondered if I was okay. I was pointless, meaningless garbage to her, and I wanted to scream.”

Lena balled up her fists and clenched so tight her nails cut into her skin. She shook with rage. Her eyes burned bloodshot red, and she clenched her jaw tight.

Suddenly Crane leapt to his feet. Lena looked up and felt bad. She didn’t mean to get so angry. He walked over to the open door and shut it. He returned to his seat and gave Lena a nod.

“Then scream, Lena. I can’t say we won’t get some dirty looks from the Healing Through Meditation group, but if you need to scream, then just let it out.”

Lena took in a deep breath and dropped her head. Suddenly, she laughed. She looked up at Crane and gave him an infectious smile.

“Thank you. I do not understand why that made me laugh, but thank you. I guess picturing myself screaming in a church basement was too absurd not to laugh. You are truly kind.”

“Gosh, you can scream Lena. I think we all could use a good scream. My hyenas love a good scream session,” Harley said.

“I agree. Kitty could use a good scream and a hiss. I have a lot of hostility built up.”

Crane leaned forward and smiled.

“Everyone, please close your eyes and we will scream on the count of three. One… two… three!”

All five members of the group screamed at the top of their lungs. The sound carried through the hall, startling the other groups. Harley’s scream was sharp and shrill, fueled by the abuse she suffered. Cat’s scream sounded like an alley cat getting stepped on. Ivy’s scream was low and sad. She hadn’t channeled her rage. Crane’s scream was deep and guttural. Lena’s wail of pain hit a crescendo. At first it was soft and strained, but when she saw the other members of the group let go, she channeled every bit of hurt, pain, and worthlessness into her heartbroken war cry. It was freeing.

When the screaming ceased, they all exploded into a hysterical fit of laughter.

Lena took in a deep cleansing breath and pulled herself together. She grinned, still trying to cease her infectious laughter.

“Why did that feel so good?” She asked aloud.

“You had a lot of pent-up emotions that needed to escape. I think a little scream therapy is exactly what you needed,” Crane said. “Do you want to go on, Lena?”

“As long as everyone else is okay with me continuing.”

“Do it, Lena. You’ll feel better once you get it all out,” Harley said.

“Yes, dear Lena. This cat has no objections.”

Ivy gave Lena a smile and a nod.

Lena took a deep breath and let her body relax.

“I could only see red. I thought we were working towards reconciliation, but she clarified that she didn’t feel enough to reconcile. Suddenly it made sense why I felt like all our interactions were so one-sided. I had plenty of words going through my mind and none of them were nice. I knew I needed to remove myself from the situation before it was too late. I left, but I never imagined that would be the last time we would see each other.”

“Did you try to speak to her after that?” Crane asked.

“I did. I waited a couple days and allowed myself to cool off. I knew that whatever Kara was feeling or not feeling was not all her fault. The things I did were unforgiveable, but I hoped that if I made one last ditch effort and laid it all on the line, that she might feel again. I went to her apartment late one evening intending to tell her everything. I was going to tell her I knew I was in love with her and that is why I had acted so recklessly. I figured I had nothing to lose telling her she owned my heart and that I would die for just one soft kiss.”

“Did you tell her?” Cat asked.

“I stood outside her apartment in the pouring rain, doing my best to muster my courage. She walked out of her apartment and my heart lifted. It was perfect. The chilly night, the storm. It made for the most romantic declaration of love ever. It was perfect. And then I saw _him_. There she stood, drenched from head to toe, and he kissed her. He held her hand, and I knew I would never be the same. I broke. I sent her one last text. I apologized and asked her if she was okay. She never responded. That was two weeks ago. She has completely shut me out, she’s dating a man I have learned to despise, and instead of bringing down hellfire upon the planet, I came here and see if I can get through the worst time of my life by talking about it instead of imploding and finally becoming the villain she accused me of being. No offense.”

“None taken, doll. As I always used to tell Mr. J, it’s a fine line between villainy and madness. I don’t think you’re either.”

It shocked Lena to hear Harley form a rational thought, and her words oddly touched her. All their words touched her. When she first opened the door to room B128 and saw the oddball collection of attendees, she never fathomed that she would find them so comforting. Even the feel of Ivy’s vines wrapping around her shoulders felt like a comfort and not a threat. Lena understood that it wasn’t madness that united the group, it was pain.

Lena’s eyes filled with tears once more. She stared down at her hands, not sure how she would go on without Kara in her life.

“Are you okay, Lena?” Crane asked. “I know that was a lot.”

“I just feel so stupid and worthless. I know it will pass, but I just don’t know how I can go on if I’m not standing by her side loving her.”

“I get ya there,” Harley said. “I felt that way for a long time. I mean shucks, look at me. Who am I if I’m not Mr. J’s girl? One day I woke up, and I realized that there was plenty to me and that the only way to feel right again was to throw the J away. I needed to get angry. I needed to scream. I needed to toss away the shackles of his abuse and find love again. I knew I deserved more.”

“You are so much more than that madman’s girl. I wish you knew just how amazing you are. You deserve the world,” Ivy said to the cheerful blonde.

Harley beamed, and their eyes locked.

Lena couldn’t help but smile. She could see the love between Harley and Ivy, even if they didn’t want to admit it.

“Lena, listen to me. You are not stupid or worthless, and it is okay to be angry. It sounds like the two of you had a wonderful connection and you loved her very much. Her ignoring you, abandoning you, that is unforgiveable. I’m not saying that she doesn’t have the right to feel, but ignoring you isn’t mature and definitely doesn’t honor the connection the two of you shared,” Crane said. “I’m sorry to sprinkle in my own feelings here, but I just have no patience for sociopaths that ignore you when you are just trying to share your feelings. I’ve been there. I think we all have,” Crane said, gritting his teeth.

“There is a special place in hell for people who ghost. Dirty, rotten, nogoodnicks!” Harley said with a growl. “Mr. J did that to me and that was when I decided I couldn’t waste anymore time worrying about his wellbeing. I didn’t care one bit. I don’t care what he does, what crimes he is committing, or if he lands himself in Arkham for the rest of his life. Abuse, mistreat, and ignore Harley Quinn, and you’re dead to me.”

Harley sat flat in her chair, stretched her legs out and exhaled sharply.

Lena smiled and rubbed Harley’s shoulder.

“Damn straight, Harley. If they don’t want to talk to us, if they are going to ghost us like the sociopaths, they say we are, they can go straight to hell.”

“B will no longer ignore this kitty. I won’t give him the satisfaction of touching my imperfect body or hearing my gentle meow anymore. He sees me as nothing, that is exactly what he is to me. The thing that really gets me is his batty ego.”

“You hit the nail on the head, Cat. I swear, Mr. J was all ego. He just stood by expecting everyone around him to bow down and worship him. Yeah, I did. I worshiped the ground that clown walked on, but he never loved me. Not one bit. I made him what he is. I was the inspiration for so much he did. Did he ever thank me? Nope. He just used me, abused me, and walked away like the big, dumb, red-nosed jerk he is. I wish I had my mallet right now. That or Bernie.”

The women all looked to Ivy. Lena wondered if she would pile on, but she just shook her head and avoided making eye contact with anyone.

“How about you, Ivy? Do you feel any rage you need to let out? Better here than on some poor unsuspecting victim,” Crane said.

Ivy didn’t look up.

“I don’t have any rage. I suppose I am feeling a little guilty. I mean, love is a two-way street. I was just as responsible for not reaching out. I was afraid after the way we left everything. I guess I’m just sorry.”

Lena could tell immediately that Ivy’s words were for Harley and not for the group.

“You’re not angry at all?” Harley asked.

“Well, hearing about their ex all the time isn’t the most calming experience, but no. I only feel love.”

Lena looked down and got lost in quiet contemplation.

“You okay, Lena?” Cat asked.

“Yeah. Surprisingly, I’m feeling much better. Who knew screaming, crying, and going off would be so cathartic?”

“That’s why I formed this group,” Crane said. “We may be a group of misfits, but we feel just as much as everyone else does. No one knows what it is like to love a superhero or supervillain the way we do. I’m glad it helped. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Especially you, Lena. I know you didn’t know if you could do it.”

“It was this or a dark and empty hotel room. You were right. This was better.”

“Well, we are coming up on the end of our time. I’ll see everyone on Thursday,” Crane said, grabbing his pen and notebook.

Everyone nodded and stood up from their seats.

Cat leaned against her chair and stretched, Ivy pulled back her vines, and Harley tossed away her giant wad of gum. Lena pulled her bag over her shoulder and took a deep breath.

She didn’t know what to say. She would be back in National City on Thursday, and she wasn’t planning on coming back to the group. She couldn’t decide if it would be more humane to tell them now or to just not show up. Then she remembered what Kara had done to her, abandoning her without a word, and she knew she had to speak up.

“Um… I wanted to thank all of your for listening and your support. I live in National City and I will probably not be coming back to Gotham for a while, so I won’t be here on Thursday. I wish I could, but I think this night will have to hold me over for a while.”

It shocked Lena to see the genuine look of disappointment on everyone’s faces.

“Really? That’s the pits. You’re a great fit and it seems like you need us just as bad as we need you, kid,” Harley said.

“I agree with Harley. We three are not the easiest group to penetrate, but you won us over with your tale of woe. It disappoints Kitty.” Cat said with a frown.

Ivy walked over to Lena and smiled.

“Do you have a second to talk?” Ivy asked.

“Of course,” Lena replied.

They made their way out to the hall and spoke in hushed whispers. The noise of the other groups letting out into the hall drowned out their conversation.

“Is everything okay, Ivy?” Lena asked.

“Please come back. I know this will not make sense, but I feel of a sense of symbiosis with you. In nature, that is a genuine connection.”

“I’m disappointed too. I really enjoyed my time here, but I am worried that the trip back and forth twice a week will be too much, and I do have to work.”

“Please promise me you will think about it. Cat and Harley can be a bit much, and I think you equalize us in a lovely way. Even my vines seem to like you,” Ivy said as her vines made their way up Lena’s back.

“I promise I will try,” Lena said with a smile.

Lena and Ivy returned to room B128. They all said their farewells and Lena walked to her car. The rain stopped and all that remained was the cool, purified air. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. For the first time in weeks, Lena felt like she might sleep without drinking her sorrows away.

She started the car and pulled out of the spot. The song on the radio, the clean night air, and the release she finally felt made Lena smile with a genuine hope that one day she would break through the darkness and finally find the light.

**“Rise Up”, by Andra Day**

[ **https://open.spotify.com/track/0tV8pOpiNsKqUys0ilUcXz?si=w_kG_4t2TraywOTMBiE2CA** ](https://open.spotify.com/track/0tV8pOpiNsKqUys0ilUcXz?si=w_kG_4t2TraywOTMBiE2CA)


	3. Her Real Superpower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena heads back to National City, but she soon discovers that her best chance of healing is to return to Gotham City and the group she never imagined would have such a lasting impact on her.

A deep freeze enveloped National city as Lena’s jet landed on the runway.

Her bones ached, and her muscles throbbed from the cold. Lena thought about all the times she travelled and how eager she was to return home to Kara. Her heart was heavy and black from the loss of her soulmate. Loneliness seeped from her being, carrying a heavy weight with her wherever she went. She was lost, and she wasn’t sure how she would find her way back to contentment. She would settle for not crying.

Lena sat in her darkened office and stared out at the twinkling lights of the city that no longer felt like home. She was so engaged in her pain that she hadn’t noticed the gentle rapping on her open door.

“Lena Kieran Luthor, why haven’t you returned my text messages?”

Lena turned around and her heart leapt when she saw Sam standing in her doorway. Her eyes filled with bittersweet tears. She practically leapt from her chair and ran to her friend. Sam extended her arms, and they met in a warm and loving embrace. Lena held onto Sam tight. Before she knew it, she began to quietly sob on her shoulder.

Sam held on tighter and ran a gentle hand over Lena’s head.

“Okay, Lena. What’s wrong. You’re scaring me.”

Lena pulled her head back slightly but still held on, desperate for comfort. 

“What makes you think there’s anything wrong?” Lena said, with a sad laugh, tears falling down her pale cheeks.

“Jesus. I’m glad I came. Come and sit down. I’ll grab you some water,” Sam said, guiding Lena over to the couch. She walked to Lena’s desk and grabbed her glass. When she returned Lena was already dabbing at her face with a tissue and trying to compose herself.

“Waterproof mascara, the best investment I ever made,” Lena said with a sad chuckle.

Sam moved closer to Lena and wrapped an arm over the top of the couch.

“What’s going on, Lena? You fell off the radar and you know how that makes me nervous.”

Lena’s head dropped. In an effort not to weep, she bit her lip so hard it bled rusty in her mouth.

“It’s Kara.”

“What’s new?” Sam asked, not at all surprised. “Have things improved since your first meeting? We haven’t really talked about it.”

“Sam, I’m in love with her,” Lena blurted out. She held her breath and waited for a shocked response from Sam.

“I know,” is all she said.

Sam’s smile and flat tone indicated Lena’s words came as no great shock.

“Really?”

“Everyone who sees you two together knows the affection between you is palpable.”

Lena clenched her fists tight. The cuts from the night before were still raw and painful.

“Not anymore. She’s done. I guess she couldn’t get past my wrongdoings and now we aren’t talking. We may never talk again.”

Sam threw her hands up in disbelief.

“Oh, come on. Not Kara. There is no way. She doesn’t give up on anyone. She’s a good person.”

“She gave up on me, Sam. She said she feels nothing for me. She’s ‘numb’, whatever the hell that means. She didn’t ask for more time to process. She didn’t say she was still angry. Quite the contrary. She says she is not angry anymore, but she just doesn’t care.”

“Wow. Now I see why you weren’t returning my texts.”

“No. I’m genuinely sorry about that. After feeling the pain of her indifference, I never want to make anyone feel like that. She left me raw and devastated. I really apologize.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re not injured or incapacitated, but somehow this seems just as bad.”

“Ha! I am emotionally incapacitated. I still can’t get over how nonchalant you were about my confession.”

“Listen, I’m sorry she was so awful to you, but please remember she is a good person.”

“I’m trying. I have tried to understand where she is coming from, but I keep coming back to the promises she made. She said she would always be there. She said she would always love me and be my friend. I keep reliving the things I did for her and how she just stood there with that blank look on her face. She said I made her feel numb. It broke me, Sam. She knows how much I love her, and she had to see how painful it would be for me. It was so cruel.”

“I know. I can’t believe she could be so cold and unfeeling. That doesn’t sound like her at all.”

Lena sobbed uncontrollably, but she forced herself to continue. 

“I dedicated my life to her, my world to her, and she dropped me off the edge of a great plateau with no rescue. She might as well have let me fall from the balcony at L-Corp that night. It would have been far less vicious. Funny how it all ends with an ignored email and an unanswered text message. When she didn’t text me back, my rage response set in and I just wanted to lose my mind and explode.”

“National City is still here, so I will assume that you didn’t.”

Lena buried her face in her hands.

“No, God, I did something so much worse.”

Sam’s body stiffened. She grabbed Lena’s hand and looked at her.

“What did you do?”

“When I was in Gotham City, I went to a support group for people who have had their hearts broken by superheroes or supervillains. Please don’t laugh. I don’t know if I could take the ridicule.”

Sam didn’t laugh. She took a moment to quietly contemplate Lena’s confession.

“I think that is fantastic. I’m a little shocked, to be honest. You rarely share your feelings with strangers. Even your best friends have to drag your emotions out of you.”

“I hit a breaking point, Sam. My heartbreak started turning to fury again. It wasn’t her feelings that upset me. Everything she feels is justified. It was just her utter disdain. Her lack of empathy was so uncharacteristic of her. After everything we had been through, she made me feel worthless.”

“Maybe she’s sick. Maybe some villain has done something to her.”

“No. I wish that were it, but it’s not. This was all her. The woman I met and fell in love with is gone. Maybe I’m the one that destroyed her. I’m just being naïve. I never meant that much to her. She just humored me. Sad, lonely, Lena Luthor. She probably considered it charitable to be my friend. Maybe years of crap being piled on top of her made her change, but the look she gave me told me that the woman I love is dead. The woman who ghosted me is a stranger and we have no connection. She lied when she said she would always be my friend no matter what. She lied when she said she would be there if I needed her. I needed her when I sent that text message. More than she will ever know. She failed me.”

“I’m so sorry. Did you tell her you’re in love with her?”

“No. I intended to, but she is dating William fucking Dey.”

“Not that guy. I hate that guy. Human Ken doll with less personality. What a tool.”

“Right? Well, she has always had strange taste in men. It’s just my great misfortune that she never saw me that way.”

“So what now? Are you going back to the group? Did it help?”

“Oddly, it did. The members are a bit eccentric and I had to shut down literally all my judgement, but they were incredibly supportive. I felt better after that meeting than I’ve felt in months. I missed them a little today. Is that strange?”

“Not at all. If they are supportive and you feel comfortable with them, continue attending. I’m proud of you for finding a positive way to approach your grief. I mean instead of trying to destroy something. You didn’t destroy anything, right? Is douchebag Dey still alive?”

“No comment,” Lena said with a playful chuckle.

Sam wrapped an arm around Lena’s shoulders and held on.

“Come on. I’m proud of you.”

“Unfortunately, the group is in Gotham City. I can’t exactly fly there every Tuesday and Thursday.”

“Why the hell not? I don’t know if you know this, but you’re Lena freaking Luthor. You’re a flobbityjillionaire and you have your own private jet. Hey, what were you doing in Gotham, anyway?”

“I’m considering a partnership with Bruce Wayne. We discussed a huge philanthropic drive that would focus on finding solutions for hunger, homelessness, and affordable health care for the people in our cities, and hopefully one day, the world. Wait… did you just say ‘flobbityjillionaire’?”

Lena shook her head and smiled. Sam never failed to make Lena laugh. She hated that they lived so far apart, but Ruby was finishing up school and Lena knew they needed to stay in Metropolis for a while. She treasured her time with Sam, however brief it may be.

“Well then, there you go. You have a reason to be in Gotham, you can do amazing philanthropic work, and you can attend your group meetings. You can fly in Tuesday afternoon and fly back Friday morning. The headquarters will still benefit from you being here a few days a week, but you will see if this group might help you heal. What Kara did isn’t something you can just let go of. I just can’t believe it. You care about her so much.”

“I do. I wish I didn’t. I wish I could care as little about her as she does about me. Every second I’m awake is plagued by pain and anxiety. I miss her so much, and yet all I want to do is scream and pound on her chest until she understands just how much this hurts. She has destroyed me.”

Lena’s face dropped into her hands. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, and wept like a child lost in the wilderness. She could barely breathe.

Sam wrapped an arm around Lena and pulled her close.

“Okay, Lena, you need to steady yourself. Just take a deep breath and calm down. I guess this answers my question about whether we should grab some wine and order takeout from Antonio’s.”

Lena suddenly laughed through her sobs. She sat up and looked up at Sam. Her mascara was running, and tears drenched her face.

“I love you, Sam. I’m sorry if I don’t say it enough. I think when Kara broke me, she opened the floodgates and now I can’t stop feeling, but I love you and Ruby. You matter to me. I hate this new gushy version of myself. I miss being emotionally repressed.”

Sam held onto Lena tighter and grinned.

“We love you too, you big ole softie.”

Sam ran a finger under Lena’s eyes and wiped away the ink-stained tears.

“I don’t know where you got this mascara, but I would definitely get your money back.”

Lena chuckled and grabbed another tissue from the table.

“I’ll add that to my list of to-dos. Thanks, Sam.”

“For what, Lena?”

“For coming all the way to National City, for putting up with my sob fest, and for loving me despite the clear flaws in my character, of which there are so many.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I love you no matter what. I came here because I worry about you. Ruby is on her school trip and I had one other tiny reason for coming to National City.”

“Really? What’s that?”

“I’m finally going to do _it_.”

“Do what?” Lena asked with a knowing smile.

“I’m going to tell her.”

“No way! Sam, that’s amazing.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up sooner, but when I saw you, I knew that was the last thing you wanted to hear.”

“Not at all, Sam. I am thrilled. Kelly has been gone for a while and I think she is probably in the perfect place to hear what you have to say. Well, at least I think she is. I haven’t exactly been paling around with the Danvers sisters as of late.”

“I just decided it was time. I have no idea how she will react or what she will say, but I must tell her. When she and Kara came to Metropolis to tell us Kara was Supergirl, it stunned me. I couldn’t tell Alex I was madly in love with her. It felt like there was already a lot happening, but it touched us both to be brought into the fold.”

“You and Ruby mean the world to Alex and Kara. I think Kara finally learned her lesson about her secret. Being guarded and withholding can have dire consequences. I saw it as a sign that Alex might one day come to her senses and sweep you off your feet. I am so thrilled. Don’t waste any more time with me. Go to her place and tell her everything.”

“I’m not that brave. I’m going to hang with you tonight and tomorrow I will tell her right before my flight. That way if she rejects me, I can hop a plane and lick my wounds. If she doesn’t, I’ll happily pay the cancellation fee.”

“Finally, something happy to celebrate.”

“Come on, lets go get some wine and food and watch a terrible movie. Something with zero romance.”

“Deal. Thanks again for coming, Sam. I love you.”

“I don’t know if I will ever get used to this new emotionally healthy Lena, but I love it. And I love you back.”

***

As Lena made her way down the hallway towards room B128, a strange sense of trepidation suddenly struck her. She couldn’t help but wonder if the members of the ‘Too Crazy to Love’ support group were only humoring her. They were all friends, and she was the outsider. It hadn’t occurred to her until that very moment that it might relieve them that Lena hadn’t intended to return. She knew it was too late now. She had flown back to Gotham, she was inside the church basement, and it was a quarter past the hour. It was now or never. Lena took a deep breath, grabbed the knob, and opened the door.

The group was deep in discussion when Lena stepped inside. She stood quietly in the corner, respecting the others. Suddenly Harley looked over at Lena and squealed. She leapt to her feet and ran over to Lena.

“Lena! You’re here!” She said as she stopped just short of knocking Lena down. She stood up straight, puffed out her chest, and gave Lena a respectful pat on the shoulder.

Lena couldn’t help but smile. The rest of the group members stood up as Lena joined them and took her empty seat in the circle.

“What a lovely surprise. I’m so happy you changed your mind,” Ivy said, her vines moving excitedly towards Lena. “My vines and I were beside ourselves when we thought you wouldn’t be here. We are absolutely green with joy.”

“Kitty couldn’t agree more. It just wouldn’t be the same without you. This is purrrrrfect,” Cat said with a pronounced roll of her tongue.

“It’s wonderful to see you here. What made you change your mind?” Crane asked.

“The old me would have said I was in the neighborhood, but I’m trying to be more emotionally healthy. When I thought about my experience the other night, I realized I felt more positive than I have in months. I can’t explain why, but I felt more comfortable dropping my walls with the four of you than I have with some of my closest friends.”

“That’s great, kid. Does this mean we get to see you every week?” Harley asked.

“I decided to continue my business in Gotham so I will be here every week for the foreseeable future.”

“That’s excellent, Lena,” Crane said, with a genuine smile.

Lena felt silly for having doubted her strange new group of friends. They were kinder and more welcoming than she ever could have imagined.

“So, I know you were all talking when I came in. Who was sharing?” She asked surveying the other’s faces.

“Dr. C was about to share his story,” Harley said, moving closer to Crane.

Crane shifted nervously in his chair and cleared his throat.

“You know, now that Lena is here, maybe we should check in with her first.”

“It’s your turn. I wouldn’t dare. Come on. Share your story,” Lena said with a cheerful smile.

“Come on. Kitty wants to hear a story,” Cat said to Crane.

He smiled and smoothed out the pocket of his tweed blazer anxiously. 

“Okay. Here goes nothing. I guess my tale is far from the norm, even for this group. The object of my affection is technically my arch nemesis, or at least that is what we are supposed to be. When we first met, of course things were contentious. I was a villain, he was a caped hero, and we were waging a battle against each other, the likes of which no one had ever seen. I convinced myself that I hated him, but with each encounter I became more fascinated by his presence. Dark, broody, mysterious. He was the very essence of good which should have irritated me to no end, but it only made me love him more. I started looking forward to our encounters and then suddenly, I was looking for any excuse to see him. I didn’t know what a healthy relationship could look like, so I continued to fuel our interactions with toxicity and violence, but secretly, I just wanted him to know me. Call it obsession, call it lust, or call it love. His indifference breaks my heart. I know it all sounds mad. I have known since day one that this was ill-fated. I knew we could never be together, but I was so happy to just be in his presence, hear his voice, and to be a part of his life.”

“Funny how hate can turn to love, and love can turn to hate so quickly. The heart is a cruel thing,” Lena said, trying not to think of the constant ache in her chest.

“He had made his tastes known publicly, preferring the company of scantily clad lady heroes and villains, and I knew I was all wrong for him, but I hoped that if I made an impression, one day he would see me. I longed to matter to him. Whether it destined me for despair, I couldn’t stop loving him, no matter how hard I tried.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ivy said, her vines drooping sadly. “Unrequited love is the worst pain you can feel. Poison is quick, a knife makes clean work of the kill, a gun gets the job done, but dying of a broken heart is the most inhumane way for a person to slowly wilt away and return to the earth.”

“Do you want me to claw his eyes out? I’d be happy to do it?” Cat clicked her claws together and licked her lips.

Crane smiled and shook his head.

“No. Thank you for the offer and thank you for listening, but I think the worst part about all of this is that I broke my own heart. I don’t know why I had to fall in love with someone so thoroughly unattainable. I think when push comes to shove, the villain here is still me.”

Crane’s head dropped. Lena could feel his agony. No one in the group was immune to the pain caused by the unfeeling sociopathic egomaniacs. Whether superhero or supervillain, they all had the capacity to destroy lives with their flagrant disregard for the feelings of others.

Harley gave Crane’s shoulder a firm pat.

“Can we get ya something, Doc? Coffee? A freeze ray to destroy the world?”

Crane looked up and let out a little chuckle. He removed his glasses, cleaned them with a cloth and returned them to his face.

“So, does anyone have any new developments since we last spoke?” Crane asked, trying to move on. “Lena?”

“My friend Sam surprised me with a visit yesterday,” Lena said. “She had to remind me that my emotional health was more important than being in the office five days a week. She’s the one who convinced me I could make this work.”

“Well, gosh, I guess we should send her a fruit basket to thank her or something,” Harley said with genuine affection.

“I also wrote _her_ a letter. I woke up this morning and I just let all of my feelings out on the paper.”

“That’s great, Lena. Sometimes it helps to just get the words out,” Crane said.

“Are you going to send it to her?” Cat asked, stretching her arms high above her head.

“No. I couldn’t. It’s way too honest, and besides, she doesn’t care anymore, anyway. Why share your feelings with someone who sees you as a useless pile of garbage to throw away and never think of again?”

“Do you have it with you?” Ivy asked.

“I do.”

“You know what? You should totally read it. Say the words aloud. I always feel better when I unload all my thoughts on Bernie. He’s a real pal,” Harley said, with her signature upbeat giggle.

Lena looked around at the other group members.

“Really? You wouldn’t mind if I read it aloud?”

“Absolutely not, kitten. You’re working through your pain. One day I will scratch and claw a letter into B’s batty back and he will know how I’ve suffered. In the meantime, you should read yours. They are right. It will surrrrely help.”

Lena exhaled sharply. She reached into her sleek designer handbag and pulled out a folded stack of paper.

She looked around at the other group members who were all eagerly awaiting her reading. She unfolded the letter and smoothed it out on her lap.

“Okay. I’m going to try not to cry.”

“Take your time, Lena,” Ivy said.

Her vines wrapped around Lena’s chair once more. Lena felt safe.

“I’m not exactly sure where to begin. I loved you with every fiber of my being from the moment we met. I remember how unfamiliar smiling was to me in those early days. Whenever we would spend any time together, my face would ache, and it felt glorious. You were soft and sweet. Every word out of your mouth warmed me over like hot cocoa on a wintry night. I remember my trepidation when I moved to National City. I was convinced that I would be shunned, but you wouldn’t allow it. You stood by me and protected me in a way I had never imagined possible. I still remember the first time you called me when I was at home. It was a simple conversation. I think we were making plans for lunch, but hearing you say good night to me before I went to sleep was the most wonderful feeling in the world. I slept so peacefully that night. Your voice always soothed me.”

Lena had to stop and compose herself. She blinked back tears and fought the darkness rolling over her heart.

Harley dragged her chair right next to Lena’s.

“Are you okay?” Harley asked, leaning her head against Lena’s shoulder.

Lena smiled as her eyes continued to glass over.

“Yeah. I’m okay. I can go on.”

“You’re strong. You can do this,” Crane said.

Lena held the letter up and continued to read.

“Being your friend was the greatest feeling. Being loved by you made me feel a joy that I had never felt before. I was on top of the world. Maybe it was just me, but I felt like our bond was instant. I would look into your eyes and you would look into mine, and I knew everything would be okay. I felt so safe, so protected. I remember when I first told you about my family and the darkness that haunted all of us, you told me you would always be there for me. You told me you would always be my friend. I believed you. I wish I hadn’t. I know that you had what you believed was a good reason for keeping your secret from me for so long. I know that you convinced yourself that I was safer if I didn’t know, but no matter how much you explained it, it still hurts. It will never stop hurting. You lied to me for our entire friendship. I know that doesn’t excuse my behavior, but I need you to know I will never fully forgive you for that. You lied. Here I was convinced that I mattered to you, all the while you had this important thing that affected every facet of your life and you didn’t tell me until it was far too late. I was an afterthought. I didn’t matter to you. I feel stupid for being so naïve.”

Lena stopped again and looked down at the ground. She took in a long breath and thought about their last encounter.

“Sorry. I’ll continue. Are you sure you are all okay with this?” Lena asked the group.

Everyone nodded eagerly.

“When I told how long I had known your secret and I saw the pain on your face, I was glad. I was glad because karmically you deserved to suffer in my book. I wanted you to feel pain because I was in agony. Here I was madly in love with you, and I was nothing but an afterthought. I was a guest star in your life, but no one of any real consequence. And yet, I hated causing you pain. I hated seeing you suffer that way. As much as I wanted to hurt you, I also wanted to protect you. It was my unfortunate infliction to have suffered both the rage of indignation and the protectiveness my love wouldn’t let me escape. You had my heart completely. When I betrayed you and left you trapped and confused, I knew that wasn’t me. My betrayal was a product of you and your betrayal. _Your_ actions fueled me. It was inevitable. What did you think would happen, keeping such an important secret from me for so long? Did you think we would hug it out and all would go well? You know me. Well, you knew me. You don’t know me anymore. You don’t know the woman who weeps for you every single night. Not that you deserve my tears. You don’t know the woman you destroyed with your avoidance. You are nothing but a coward. You’re the villain.”

Lena could feel the anger boiling up in her veins. She clenched her jaw and read on, knowing the letter would be over soon.

“When you came to me and said you would treat me like ‘any other villain’ I never imagined that it would be so easy. It wasn’t contingent on my work with Lex, as you said. I stopped working with him, but you slipped right into cutting me out of your life. I’ve seen you treat villains with more care and respect. When I came to you to apologize for everything I had done, I worried that I had lost you forever. I suppose it would have been kinder for you to have cut me out of your life then, but you didn’t. I knew it would take time for us to find our way back to trusting each other again and that it may never be the same, but I never imagined we would end up here. Not after I saved your life not once, but twice and protected your secret from the man you are now dating and presumably lying to ‘protect’ as well. After everything we have been through, all the passionate highs and lows, I would have rather had you say that you hated me than to say that I made you feel nothing. I would rather have you hate me then feel nothing at all because then at least there would be some sign that your heart was still beating and not a cold dead rock jammed inside your chest.”

Lena stopped for a moment and looked up.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how angry this sounded,” Lena said with a blush of embarrassment.

“Are you kidding? It’s beautiful and sad. You are being honest and there are no swear words. You’re doing great, kid. Keep going,” Harley said with a big grin.

“Remember, this is a safe place. Keep reading,” Crane said with a thoughtful nod.

“When we agreed to look for Lex together, I knew things would be awkward at first. I imagined that working your way back to trusting me would take time, but I also needed to learn to trust you again. You lied for our entire friendship. Please don’t forget that, no matter how honorable your intentions were. Each time we got together, and we didn’t hug, it sliced a piece of my heart away. Every time you seemed rushed or dismissive, I felt like I had lost you. I suppose I shouldn’t have been too surprised when you told me you felt nothing. You sure acted that way. You didn’t check in on me, you didn’t ask how I was doing. You didn’t even seem to want to meet. I get it. I turned on you and it hurt, but you’re the hero. I am the broken mess that has always told you how I teetered on the edge of darkness. That didn’t mean that I didn’t love you. It meant that I loved you so much that I went insane from longing. I went mad with a desire to make you happy. I went crazy wishing you could love me half as much as I love you. And then… you said it. I don’t make you feel anything. Fine, I broke us. I broke you. Now you’re dating that pompous moron. I own it. I’m jealous. I’m jealous because I’ve been madly in love with you for as long as I’ve known you, and you were too aloof or too disturbed to say a word. It was my mistake thinking you could feel the same way about me I felt about you. How naïve I was to think the great Supergirl who everyone adores could love this damaged, cold, drunken mess.”

Lena took a beat and flipped to the next page.

“Wow. Is it terrible to say I hate her? I mean, hopefully one day you will reconcile because I know how much you love her, but I just wish I could inject her with my poison and strangle her with my vines for causing you so much pain,” Ivy said with genuine sincerity.

Lena looked at Ivy and smiled sweetly. Harley gave Ivy a sideways glance. Lena sensed there was some jealousy there, but Harley averted her gaze quickly.

“Thank you, Ivy. You are very sweet. It’s not terrible to say, but I know if you knew her, you would probably fall madly in love with her. Everyone does. That is her real superpower. She makes people fall in love with her and then she slowly drives them mad with her withholding. She flies off, disappears without a trace, and then she’s gone when your heart needs her the most. When your entire world seems to be falling apart, she is nowhere to be found, and you’re left out in the cold. She drives you mad, pining away your days and nights, never finding peacefulness or restful slumber. This new man will be no different. All she cares about is saving National City. I used to think I was high on her priority list, but I was sorely mistaken. With each day that passes my self-worth diminishes.”

Harley pulled out a bottle of bubbles. She pulled out the comb and blew a smooth and steady stream into the center of the group.

“Seems to me, she’s the worst kind of villain. She calls herself a hero and flies around in a cape. But you’re a real gem, Lena. Only a real jerk would break your heart. You’re one of the good ones.”

“Thanks Harley,” Lena said, giving Harley’s hand a squeeze. “You’re one of the good ones, too. You all are. People call the four of you villains, but no one knows the kindness you have in your hearts or the pain you have suffered.”

“You deserved better, Lena. You deserve better and you will find your happiness again one day,” Cat said, free of rolling Rs, purrs or hisses. “Oh, and I’d gladly claw the new boyfriend’s eyes out. Just say the word.”

“Yeah. Two smashes with my mallet and he’d have a tough time standing up straight. Maybe I could set my pet hyenas, Bud and Lou, on him. They would tear him to shreds.”

Lena grinned devilishly.

“I’d pay to see that.”

“I think we all would,” Crane said with a chortle.

“Come on, Lena. Finish the rest of your letter,” Ivy said. Her vines curled around Lena protectively.

The others gave Lena a supportive nod, and she smoothed her hand over the page.

“So, you told me you were ‘numb’. You told me you felt nothing at all. Maybe I deserved this treatment. Maybe I deserved your cool disregard. Maybe all the things I did were unforgiveable, and I don’t warrant your love or compassion. I reached out to you because I needed you. I called out to you because my heart was aching, and I just needed to hear your voice. I needed a single kind word or a simple sign that I wasn’t a meaningless guest in your world. You ignored me, you abandoned me, you left me to rot. You are out there living your life, with no care for me, and still I worry about you. How absurd is that? I worry about the invincible superhero. Meanwhile, I am not a friend to you, I am not someone you loved, I am just someone you used to know. I don’t need you to worry about me. I’ll be fine. I don’t need your care or consideration. I can make it on my own and thrive. I was a good person with a good heart before I met you and I will be again. I will atone for my sins and I will make myself whole again.”

“Damn straight you will,” Harley said, kicking her leg into the air wildly.

Lena continued.

“Considering the fact that you couldn’t be bothered to respond or share a single solitary emotion, I shouldn’t waste the time wishing you well, but I do. I shouldn’t waste my breath telling you I love you, but I do with all my heart. One last time. I’m in love with you, always have been, and I know that one day this pain will subside and someday you will miss me. Now it is time for me to move on and work on finding my joy again.” 

Lena didn’t cry as she read these last few words aloud. She felt a sense of relief wash over her. She may not have been afforded the closure with Kara she was looking for, but reading the letter aloud helped her express her rage, indignation, and sorrow. Her heart felt lighter and more hopeful.

She felt a sense of cleansing and renewal envelop her as she folded up the letter and slipped it back into her bag. Suddenly she felt like she could breathe again, and she knew Sam was right. The group was good for her and it was time to heal and let go.

***

When the meeting ended, Lena felt a sense of peace she never imagined possible. She stayed to help them clean up the coffee and donuts, enjoying the odd sense of community they had formed during their sessions.

Ivy walked up to Lena and placed a soft hand on her shoulder. Lena turned around and found Ivy, Cat, and Harley all grinning like Harley’s hyenas.

“Hiya Lena,” Harley said, holding her hands behind her back coyly.

Lena grinned. She suddenly felt like the last cookie on the plate.

“Hi Harley. Is everything okay?”

“We were thinking of grabbing a drink. Would you like to join us?”

“Where on earth could a group like us go to grab a drink? We’re conspicuous as hell,” Lena said.

Harley punched a fist into her palm, Cat extended her claws, and Ivy’s vines shook aggressively.

“Anywhere we damn well please,” Harley said with a menacing smile.

“Then consider me in,” Lena said with a wink. “Let’s go scare the shit out of Gotham City.”

**"Bad Memory", by K. Flay**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/6vpRAwgYNuuBh90keoIIaW?si=ZJm5Jz75TuKsmSYdcd2pdw**


	4. A Playful Lick, A Cowardly Lion, and a Wish Unfulfilled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and the Sirens make an impression at a local bar...  
> Cat finds a new master...  
> Lena receives a visit from an unfriendly ghost...  
> and Lena gives up on a wish unfulfilled

“I believe this may be the seeeediest bar I have ever stepped into,” Ivy said, stepping over the threshold, her vines shrinking back in disgust. “And that’s no compliment.”

“Well, gosh, I’ve been in seedier places. You should have seen the lousy joints Mr. J dragged me into. Some of them were real dumpsters.”

“It’s purrrfect. It’s here, it’s open, and this kitty needs a cocktail.”

The three Sirens looked at Lena eagerly awaiting her vote.

Lena surveyed the dark, dingy bar, aptly named “The Hell Hole”, and the low-life clientele with her discerning Luthor eye. She briefly considered siding with Ivy, but her mouth was parched, and her mind raced with images of Kara kissing William and she longed to make them stop. 

“If there’s alcohol, I’m in,” Lena said, stepping past the women and sauntering into the bar with careless abandon. 

All the patron’s eyes were fixed on the unusual group of friends as they waded through the crowd of hairy, leather-clad bikers and tattooed misfits. The Sirens were not afforded the luxury of anonymity, but Lena felt just as exposed when she was in public. She had no illusions of grandeur, but one would only need to pick up a newspaper or magazine to know she was the CEO of L-Corp and the ex-owner of CatCo Worldwide Media. Oddly enough, Lena felt safer in this seedy bar than anywhere in National City. She was confident that the patrons of this fine establishment were not at all concerned with her comings and goings. 

The four women walked up to the bar and waited for the bartender to pick his jaw up off the ground. He was not alone. The male clientele all stood agape, trying to decide whether they were threatened or turned on. The female customers scoffed and held onto their men, terrified they would want a taste of what the bad girls were offering. 

“Excuse me, barkeep. We’d like to order some drinks when you’ve got a minute,” Harley said with a flirtatious twirl of her blue-dipped pigtail. 

Lena guessed the bartender had to be six-foot-three, and he weighed about 285. It shocked her when she saw his pudgy hand shaking as he approached. 

“Wha… wha… what can I get you… um…,” the Bartender asked nervously.

“Ladies,” Cat said with a hiss. “What would _we ladies_ like to drink? I’ll take a Black Cat.”

“I’ll take a ‘Smiling Ivy’. That’s Dark Jamaican Rum, Egg White, Lemon Juice, Peach Liqueur, and Pineapple Juice.”

Ivy licked her lips and her vines vibrated excitedly.

“Make it a ‘Shirley Temple’ for me and toss some vodka into it,” Harley said with an unsettling giggle.

Cat turned to Lena and purred in her ear. 

“Lena? What would you like?”

“Irish whiskey, straight up. Leave the bottle.”

The bartender looked at his paltry selection of alcohol. It was clear that he wasn’t going to be able to make the first three signature cocktails.

“Um… ma’am, I… I… don’t seem to have any egg whites or peach liqueur. Can I get you something else?”

“Nix my order,” Lena said. “Give us a tray of your cheapest, dirtiest, tequila shots, and keep them coming. When I say your cheapest tequila, I mean you crappiest tequila. Something that will wash away all of our memories and make us forget who we are.”

The bartender’s face brightened, and he sighed with relief. Lena looked to the Sirens for approval and they gave her a cheerful nod. 

“You’ve got it! Coming right up. I know just the stuff. This tequila will kick the shit out of anything that’s bothering you.”

“Good man. Kitty is pleased,” Cat said, leaning over the bar. 

The bartender quickly filled an entire tray of shots and brought them over. Lena grabbed two glasses of the terrible tequila and pounded them one after the other.

“Perfect. It burns all the way down. Just like love,” Lena said with a grunt. “At least with tequila, you know it’s going to hurt in the morning.”

She grabbed two more shots and downed them quickly. 

“Careful there, Lena. Don’t go too fast,” Ivy said, concerned.

“Aw, come on Ivy. Let the girl have some fun. She’s heartbroken. Go ahead, Lena, let your hair down a bit and get wild. If Bernie were here, he would definitely agree!”

Cat leaned over the bar a little more and extended her hand out to the bartender. She gave his chin stubble a playful scratch. 

Lena grabbed Cat’s waist firmly and pulled her off the bar. Cat landed on her feet and turned around, pleasantly surprised. 

“Leave your toy alone, Kitten. We have some drinking to do,” Lena said playfully.

Cat dragged her claws gently down Lena’s chest. She smiled seductively and licked her lips.

“Oh, I like it when you’re firm with me, Lena. Keep calling me ‘kitten’ and I might have to give up the bad B man and curl into your tough CEO lap. Be gentle, it’s my first time.”

Lena chuckled. The thought of being a top intrigued her. Kara had always been so protective that Lena just fell onto her figurative hands and knees for the Super, but the idea now made Lena feel sick. She would never be vulnerable again. _I’m a goddamned Luthor. No one tops a Luthor._

She grabbed Cat’s waist again and pulled her in closer. She stared deep into her eyes, lifted Cat’s clawed hand, and dragged the sharp metal along her cheek, lightly scratching her own smooth, alabaster skin. 

Cat’s sexuality and unapologetic flirting secretly intrigued her. Cat’s advances would be more flattering if she didn’t flirt with everything, including inanimate objects, but she could have a little fun with her.

The tequila was still working its way through her system, but she could feel her inhibitions drop the minute the second shot glass touched her lips.

Cat leaned in and licked Lena’s ear. 

“Meow, Ms. Luthor. Just Meow.”

Lena gave Cat a playful wink, turned her around firmly, and slapped her ass. She grabbed another shot off the tray and grinned devilishly. 

“Behave Kitten, or I will punish you. I’m in a mood,” Lena said in a low raspy voice.

Cat leaned in, rested her hand on Lena’s chest and licked her lips, teasing her tongue back and forth with sensual precision. Lena grinned and grabbed Cat’s waist hard. Cat beamed.

“Well, I might just have to be naughty. Kitty wants to play.”

When Lena felt the tap on her shoulder, she turned around expecting to find one of her friends. Instead, one of the customers stood behind her, mouth breathing cheap beer and chewing tobacco in her face. He stood about a foot taller than her and encroached on every inch of her valuable personal space. An unforgiveable violation in Lena’s eyes. 

“You and your FREAK friends need to get out of here RIGHT NOW. You’re disgusting. Not only are you all a bunch of mental patients, but you’re freaking queers. Get out of here before me and my friends here teach you a lesson MAN STYLE. You’ll be walking funny for a week.”

Lena looked deep into the man’s eyes and didn’t flinch. She called out to the bartender calmly, but kept her eyes trained on the piggish man before her.

“Hey barkeep, my friends and I would like another tray of shots when you have a moment. Also, I will pay you a thousand dollars cash and pay for any repairs to your fine establishment if you will allow us to teach this mouth-breathing-never-ever-going-to-get-laid-trash-heap-of-a-yokel a lesson WOMAN STYLE. We would prefer you not contact the local authorities for obvious reasons. Just let me know what I can do, and I will make it happen.”

The bartender roared with laughter. 

“Keep your money and do what you need to do. My name is Joe, and your next tray is on me. Teach him a lesson, ladies.”

Lena smiled and before she knew it, Harley kicked the man hard between the legs from behind. Cat raised her hands and sliced at the man’s face with all ten claws. Ivy stood at the bar slowly sipping a shot of tequila while her vines wrapped themselves around the bullish bigot and slowly squeezed the life from him. 

“I’m assuming you would prefer to keep this _thing_ alive,” Ivy said to Lena, her vines rattling like snakes.

Lena smiled, still staring into the man’s eyes.

“Yes. For now. Harley, take a quick picture of his license. I want to know where this man lives just in case anyone, and I mean ANYONE in this bar, city, state, or country is ever bothered by this pig again. Then, if we visit, he won’t be so lucky. We will boil him, fry him, and serve him as samples at the supermarket.” Lena leaned in closer to the man who was now begging on his knees to be released. “You do not know just how lucky you were this evening. My friends here are both beautiful and deadly. Ivy here could kill you instantly with one kiss or touch of her skin. Cat could claw your eyes out and snip your jugular before you could cry out for your mommy or God himself. And Harley, well, Harley could kill you and never stop smiling. She would do it with unfettered joy and panache. You’re incredibly lucky, you miserable sack of garbage. Consider this a warning to you and anyone else who underestimates us. We are fierce, we love each other, and we will not take any more crap from ANYONE EVER AGAIN! If anyone has a problem with that, come and see me directly.”

The entire bar shrunk back with fright. 

The Sirens all stood behind the man, holding him, and inflicting as much pain as possible. They all beamed. 

“I couldn’t have said it better myself, Lena,” Ivy said. 

“Aww… you love us! Did you hear that, girls? Lena loves us,” Harley said, burying her knee in the man’s back.

Cat dragged her claws along the man’s cheek roughly and moved to Lena’s side. She kissed Lena’s cheek softly and rested a hand on her shoulder. 

“Like I said, I love it when you’re firm, Lena. Meow.”

***

With the bigoted man tossed whimpering from the bar and the other patrons sufficiently silenced, Lena and the Sirens found a cozy corner to finish off their tequila shots in peace. 

Lena sat on a stool nursing her last shot. Cat stood between her legs and leaned against her, occasionally purring and kissing Lena’s cheek. Lena had no grand plans to crawl into bed with Cat, but she enjoyed the feel of her, and she found her affection oddly comforting. 

Lena couldn’t help but notice that the tequila also helped Harley and Ivy lower their walls. They stood close together on the opposite side of the table and seemed to only have eyes for each other. Ivy’s vines danced lightly around Harley as she held Ivy from behind and hugged her close. 

“This is exactly what I needed. Thanks for inviting me out,” Lena said, slurring her words comically. “It’s been so long since I just let go and enjoyed myself without worrying about what _she_ would think.”

“You’re too good for her, kid,” Harley said with a sad smile. She calls herself ‘Super’, but she was a piss-poor friend to you. You deserved better. If she were here, I would give her a piece of my mind and the business end of my mallet. Mr. J abused me physically, emotionally, and psychologically, but he never pretended to be something he wasn’t. He was a grade-A psychopath and never told me otherwise. Your ‘Supergirl’ was just a wolf in sheep’s clothing pretending to have a heart. All the while she just used you up and spit you out like a wad of my bubble gum. I threw away the J and now it’s time for you to throw away the proverbial Supergirl symbol that dangles from your neck and weighs you down. If she doesn’t want your love or your affection, she can go straight to hell with the other bastards who broke our hearts. You have us now.”

Lena reached across the table and gave Harley’s hand a squeeze. Her eyes filled with tears. She would never quite get over the shock of Harley’s uncanny ability to say just the right thing in the most unexpected way. 

“I never imagined I would utter these words aloud, but I agree with Harley. You are a stunningly beautiful queen. Commanding, confident, and sensual. You make this pussycat purr. She’s nothing but a narcissist in a cape. They all are! Everyone one of us has had our hearts broken by some headcase who could only think about themselves and their happiness. Narcissists, psychopaths, and egomaniacs. They are all the same. How could she ghost you? How could she abandon you when you needed her most? I’ll tell you. She’s only capable of worrying about _her_ happiness, _her_ satisfaction, and _her_ comfort. Maybe your emotions were an inconvenience to her. Maybe she didn’t understand that loving someone so completely makes you sensitive. It untethers you. She doesn’t care about you, but that is no great defeat, you gorgeous tigress. I used to think of B as my mighty lion, but he is nothing but a tomcat, pacing the alley in search of his next conquest. A horny coward who sees nothing but his own reflection. All he wants are the kittens to pay attention to him and dote on him. He’s no lion. He’s not brave or bold. He’s just a spineless coward, too afraid to love. Too afraid to face anything that might pose even the most minor inconvenience to him. He’s just a dirty alley cat, but I don’t need to worry about him. I don’t need some imitation lion. I’ll stick with you, my beautiful tigress. This kitty would fall down on all fours for you.”

Cat wrapped her arms around Lena’s neck and kissed her lips gently. Lena didn’t fight it. Instead, she pulled Cat in close and kissed her back. 

“I don’t know what I would do without all of you. I was so broken before I found you,” Lena said, holding onto Cat tight.

“We three have seen the best and worst of Gotham. We have watched the destruction of nature all around us and wept at the loss of her beauty. We are not trusting by nature. We barely trust each other, but you Lena, you are one of us. Our spirits are kin. Each of us was born of some wrong. Weak limbs who believed they were mighty oaks victimized us. We were all tossed aside, abused, and left for dead. You are no different. The crimes of your family did not make you who you are. Your wrongdoings do not define you. No, Supergirl’s slight, her despicable, stony heart, tossed you aside and left you for dead. Today, today you are reborn. Whether it be as the mighty tigress, the classy and dignified queen of your family’s empire, or the voice of us three Sirens when faced with a smelly overgrown bigoted pig man, it doesn’t matter. Today, you are reborn. You may have once believed that the only place for you was standing at Supergirl’s side, but she does not deserve your dedication or your love. She pulled away and abandoned you without a care. Now you stand here, surrounded by three women who feel your suffering in their hearts and would do anything to help you heal. You will awaken tomorrow, hungover to within an inch of your death, but you will awaken braver, stronger, and more hopeful. There is nothing ‘Super’ about someone who gives up. You can and _will_ do better. In the meantime, we will stand by you, love you, and defend you as one of our own.”

Lena was speechless. Her brain was so foggy she could barely form words, but nothing had ever touched her heart the way these three women had. They were united in their suffering, but they were also united in their pledge to stand by one another. It terrified Lena to think about what tomorrow would bring. Her waking nightmare was facing another day with no word from Kara, but with the support of Cat, Ivy, and Harley, she was confident she wouldn’t dread the night nearly as much. 

***

Over the next few weeks, Lena kept the same schedule. She would work in the office on Monday and Tuesday morning, she would fly to Gotham City, stay until Friday morning, and return to L-Corp for her late afternoon and evening meetings. 

Her work with Bruce took shape, and Lena finally felt like some of the storm clouds that had been hanging over her were lifting. 

Their first night at the bar acted as the glue that would bond the four women outside of the confines of the walls of room B128. They quickly developed a closeness that Lena not only appreciated but needed desperately. They spent every Tuesday and Thursday night discussing their issues with the group and after, they would go to their new favorite bar “The Hell Hole” and pay Joe the bartender a visit. Occasionally, they would stroll into a ritzy club for a night of dancing or a diner for slices of pie and coffee. Sure, the reception was not always welcoming, but they were all tired of hiding in the shadows, secretly nursing their broken hearts. They wanted to live, and no judgmental jerk or shriek of terror would push them back into the darkness.

***

When Sam called a couple weeks later, she was elated to share the news about her talk with Alex.

“I don’t know why I was so scared, Lena. She was incredible,” Sam said, cheerfully. “I couldn’t even get all the words out before she was hugging me. I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, but it was a bit of a whirlwind.”

“Don’t apologize, Sam. I’m thrilled everything went so well. What did she say?”

“She apologized for not asking me and Ruby to stay when we moved to Metropolis. She said she was feeling conflicted because she was still healing from her breakup with Maggie, but she said she loved us both with all of her heart and she still does.”

“I hate to say ‘I told you so’ but I told you so. I knew she loved you.”

“Ha Ha! I know. You were right all along. She insisted on us flying back to Metropolis together to welcome Ruby home. You should have seen Ruby’s face. I have never seen her happier.”

“That’s amazing. So, what’s the plan?”

“She’s taking some time off so we can be together and make up for lost time. She wants to be as close to us as possible. Ruby graduates soon. As soon as school is over, and if you don’t have any objections, we would love to move back to National City.”

“Objections? Are you crazy? I’ve wanted you two back in National City since the day you left. I miss you with all my heart, Sam. You will have a position here the minute you’re ready to move. I’ll set up a grand apartment for you guys. You’ll want for nothing. I’m so thrilled.”

“You are so funny and so sweet. Don’t worry about the apartment. Alex is going to look for a place for the three of us. Like I said, she wants to be as close to us as possible.”

“I love that. You two deserve a fairytale ending. Well, I will make sure everything is all set at work and you just let me know if you two need anything.”

“I will. Now tell me how you’re doing. How’s the group? How’s the project with Bruce Wayne?”

Lena sat back on the couch and curled up. 

“The group is wonderful. I took your advice and I’ve been going to all the meetings. I’ve been spending some time with the members. They are fantastic people.”

“You sound a lot more positive than you did a few weeks ago.”

“It still hurts. Don’t get me wrong. She creeps into my subconscious every single night. When things are quiet, I feel her hand wrap around my heart and squeeze until I can’t breathe, but I have these moments of levity, I didn’t think possible. I’m going out drinking, dancing, and having a surprisingly enjoyable time. You wouldn’t recognize me. I even smile occasionally.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Lena?”

“Ha! You’re funny.”

“So, are you going to tell me about these friends of yours?”

“I will, but you should probably grab a bottle of wine and a glass.”

“Why?”

“Just trust me. Grab some wine and call me back.”

***

“You can’t be serious,” Sam said. “You were right. I’m glad I grabbed the wine.”

“They may not be the most conventional group of friends, but they are loyal and loving in a way I need right now.” 

Lena pulled a chenille throw from the back of the couch and laid it over her legs. She held the phone between her cheek and shoulder and grabbed a large glass of scotch from the table. She took a long sip and let out a deep sigh.

“I’m really glad, Lena. Just promise me you’ll be careful. They aren’t exactly known for their kindness or their compassion.”

“Much like me, they are grossly misunderstood.”

“I’m trying to imagine you bar hopping with Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn.”

“I’m the one doing it, and it still feels surreal. I swear to you, Sam, they have good hearts.”

“You’re not going to start wearing a costume, are you?”

“Oh, stop it, Sam.”

Sam giggled.

“Okay. Okay. I was just messing with you. I’m sorry. How are you feeling? I mean about _her_.”

“Fine sometimes. Other times I’m angry, depressed, numb, scared, enraged, broken, defeated, and I feel completely worthless, but not alone. So, I’m better, I guess. She still hasn’t responded to my messages and every day I become more attune to the fact that she never really cared about me.”

“That’s not true, Lena. Kara has always cared for you very much.”

“If she ever cared, she wouldn’t be able to just shut it all off like a switch. She said she would be here for me when I needed her. She lied. She said that we could move past the things I did, but I guess she decided I wasn’t worth it. All the things we felt, all the things we went through, didn’t matter. It’s not all bad though. The girls have helped me realize that I am more than just a woman who loved Supergirl. I feel more hopeful that one day I will feel like me again. My work with Bruce is going well and I really am enjoying my time with the girls from the group.”

“Are you… no, I won’t ask?”

“What, Sam?”

“You guys aren’t committing crimes or anything, right? I mean, are you sure it’s just drinks and dancing?”

Lena laughed.

“No. We also watch movies and I think Cat is kind of gay for me.”

“Wow. You’ve been busy,” Sam said with a chuckle.

“We are all just sad women who self-sooth. We get drunk, we whine about our broken hearts, and sometimes we eat dessert. I know it sounds absurd me eating pie with Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn, but they are lovely. They are as misunderstood as I am.”

“I’d love to meet them.”

“Really? They said they wanted to meet you. They are oddly protective and appreciate anyone who loves me the way they do.”

“It’s weird that they ‘love’ you, but as long as you’re happy.”

“You love me.”

“I’m your best friend.”

“Are you jealous, Samantha Arias?”

Sam laughed.

“Well, yeah. A little. How can I compete with the three most fascinating lady villains in Gotham City? You seem so besotted with them.” 

Sam’s words touched Lena.

“Sam, you’re my best friend and that will never change. Trust me, there is no reason to be jealous. It’s me who should be jealous of Alex. Am I ever going to see you again?”

“Of course, you will. Remember, I am moving back.”

Lena smiled. 

“You’re moving _home_ , and I am so thrilled.” 

“It is such a relief to know how much she missed us.”

“She has loved you with her whole heart since the day you met.”

“I am so happy, Lena. I’m sorry to be talking about being happy.”

“Don’t be. I’m thrilled. You give me hope that one day I won’t feel this agony. One day a woman will love me completely and not just let me love her. Why does it hurt so bad, Sam?”

“I’m so sorry it hurts, Lena. You will find love one day. Genuine love. Passionate love. I promise.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

“So, are you flying out again tomorrow?”

“I am.”

“Well, say hi to ‘the girls’ for me and tell them I’m looking forward to meeting them.”

“Will do! I love you, Sam. Send my love to Ruby.”

“I will, and she always sends her love to you.”

***

The next morning, Lena arrived at L-Corp early to finish up some business before her flight to Gotham City. When her assistant knocked at the door, she expected an update on her breakfast. Instead, a familiar face stood beside her. A face that instantly reminded Lena that Kara had cut her out of her life for good. 

“Good Morning, J’onn.”

J’onn gave Lena a ghostly smile. It seemed loaded with backstory and information she didn’t expect him to share. 

“Ms. Luthor, I’m sorry. He arrived before security called.”

“Good Morning, Lena,” J’onn said with his usual stoicism. 

Lena gave her assistant a smile and gestured for her to leave them alone.

“If you two need anything, please let me know.”

“Just keep my breakfast warm. J’onn will not be staying long.”

Lena’s assistant scurried out of the room in an instant. 

Lena walked to her office window and stared out at the familiar landscape and wondered how things had come to this. _Now she’s sending a proxy? She can’t even talk to me face to face._

“How can I help you, J’onn?”

J’onn cleared his throat and took a couple steps towards Lena’s desk. Lena didn’t turn around.

“We… I mean, the D.E.O. have been monitoring some of our more active criminal element and we came across something of great concern.”

“What would that be, J’onn? What is so urgent that you had to come to my office at seven-thirty in the morning and couldn’t just call?”

“It’s about Gotham City.”

“Friendly town. I’m doing some business with Bruce Wayne there. I’m sure you’ve heard of him. Philanthropic work. We’re trying to tackle solutions to end hunger and homelessness in our cities. Is that why you’re here? No, I imagine not.”

“Lena, people have seen you out in public on multiple occasions with three of the most notorious criminals in Gotham City.”

“And?”

Lena’s curt response seemed to shake the normally unshakeable man.

“It’s just unsavory. It doesn’t appear as though you have committed any crimes together, but it doesn’t look good.”

Lena let out a loud belly laugh and turned to J’onn.

“Do me a favor, J’onn. Please tell Kara that I do not appreciate her keeping tabs on me like I’m some villain and I certainly do not appreciate her sending errand men to talk to me instead of having the backbone to do it herself. Yes, I am spending time with Cat, Ivy, and Harley, and no, we are not committing any crimes. We are friends, not that it is any of her business. Kara dropped me out of the sky and let me fall. I will no longer afford her any power in my life, and that means I will not listen to or speak to any of her lackeys. If she doesn’t like something I’m doing, she can stop being a coward and come and tell me herself. She clearly has no concern for me at all. If she had the slightest shred of common decency, she would have reached out. No, I think her concern lies with the people of Gotham and the people of National City. I am sure she thinks her insult, her violation upon my heart, will cause some terrible crime spree. I will do nothing to assuage her fears. Instead, I will give you this message for her. I can give you some paper if you need to write it down, but please send her this message verbatim. Don’t you dare act like you have the right to know ANYTHING about me. You gave up that opportunity when you abandoned me. I will be friends with whoever I please and just know that with each passing day you ignore me and let me slip away, I grow more disgusted by your behavior and care less what you or anyone else thinks of me.”

“Lena… I…,” J’onn said, trailing off. 

Lena could see that her words had just the effect she was hoping for. 

“Get out, J’onn. Get out and don’t come back unless you have a thought of your own. If she has anything to say to me, she can say it to my face. Don’t embarrass yourself by coming here again. Good day.”

She could sense J’onn stiffen. She didn’t move. She turned around and watched the raindrops hit the windowpane and cascade slowly down and out of sight. She concentrated on the smallest element that was out of her control. It helped. It helped to remind her that her life was her own and she would no longer let Kara dictate how she would feel anymore.

When Lena turned around, he was gone. She let out a deep sigh and took a seat at her desk. She picked up her phone and hit the intercom for her receptionist.

“Hi Ms. Luthor. I am so sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. That wasn’t your fault. I don’t think he will return to L-Corp anytime soon, but please let security know that until further notice, all guests who do not have an appointment with this office are to be forbidden entry. NO EXCEPTIONS.”

“Of course, Ms. Luthor.”

“Don’t worry about my breakfast. Call the hanger and tell them I want to take off now. I can’t be in this city any longer.”

“Absolutely, Ms. Luthor. I’ll call them right away.”

“Thank you.”

Lena hit the button to end the intercom call and sat back in her chair, exhaling sharply. She opened her drawer and pulled out a gift-wrapped box roughly the size of a book and placed it on her desk. She slowly slipped her finger under the wrapping paper and pulled it back, revealing a white gift box. She removed the lid and pulled out an expensive leather-bound journal. She opened the cover and written inside was a message inscribed in her own hand. She ran her fingers over the words and did her best not to cry. 

_My Dearest Kara,_

_You have said more than once that you wondered what I was thinking when I did the things I did. I love you, Kara Danvers. I love you with everything I am or will ever be. I love you more than anyone or anything in this world, and I want you to know me completely. This is my journal. Contained in these pages are my most intimate thoughts, mostly of you. I want you to read this. I want to share all my words with you. I long for you to know what is truly in my heart. Please read this and if you feel the same way I do, please tell me because I adore you. You are my best friend, my soulmate, and the love of my life._

Lena quickly grabbed the box cover and replaced it with a grunt. 

“I was such an idiot. What was I thinking?”

Lena grabbed the package and stood up. She walked out of her office, past her assistant and straight to the elevator. The lights in her lab all flickered on, sensing her movement. She walked straight to her sample cage and threw the journal, wrapping paper and all inside and closed the door. She tapped on the keypad and clicked the button that said “ **Incinerate**.”

A prompt appeared.

 _Are you sure you would like to incinerate this sample?_ **_Yes_ ** _or_ **_No_ ** _._

Lena took a deep breath. A single tear fell down her pale cheek. She would allow that one, but no more.

The emotional significance of incinerating her journal would have been lost on anyone who didn’t know her well. This was finality. This was her rage at being discarded, exploding from her heart to her hands. This was her sorrow at being forgotten, screaming out with mournful sobs. This was her heartbreak at being abandoned. The words she wrote, she wrote for her eyes and her eyes only. The simple fact that she was willing to share her most intimate thoughts with Kara after they stopped Lex was her pact with Kara that she always be honest with her. She would always share her feelings with her. This would have tied them together in a way that no betrayal could have broken. But alas, that was a wish unfulfilled. A dream that would never be. Kara had given up on her and she needed to move on.

Lena hit Y **es** , and the cage filled with white-hot flame, putting an end to a fantasy Lena knew in her heart would never come true.


	5. The Fourth Siren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena returns to the group and fills them in on her surprising visit from J'onn. She explains why she burned the journal and confesses that her days in National City are much worse than any of them every could have comprehended. When she returns to National City, she receives three gifts, one of which will change her life forever.

“It was a glorious week. Kitty got her claws on two precious things. One was the Blacksmith diamond. Meow. How it sparkled.”

“That’s great, Cat,” Crane said. “You sound more positive than you have in a while.” He cleared his throat and sat back. “Now, this is a judgement free zone, but let’s refrain from sharing details about our not-so-legal activities if we can.”

“Oh, kitty didn’t commit any crimes. The Commissioner’s daughter asked me to assist with a test of the new Gotham City Museum’s alarm system. Kitty was a good girl. She gave the diamond back and everything. I considered keeping it for a split second, but I didn’t want to see batboy. I couldn’t bear the judgement. Ugh.”

“What was the other precious thing you got your claws on?” Lena asked with a grin.

Cat moved in closer and ran a hand along Lena’s leg and inner thigh. She leaned in and kissed her cheek softly.

“Haven’t you guessed, Ms. Luthor? You’re more precious than a thousand Blacksmith diamonds. Kitty had a very good week indeed. I love that you are getting out and playing with us.”

Cat purred in Lena’s ear and grinned. Lena moved a hand to Cat’s back and rubbed her fingers over the soft leather catsuit.

“I’m enjoying getting out and playing myself,” Lena said.

Lena leaned in and whispered in Cat’s ear.

“Especially with my naughty kitten. Meow.”

“Oh, Ms. Luthor… how you make this kitty purr.”

Crane cleared his throat nervously and crossed his legs.

“Well, I am glad to see that you are all becoming closer. The key reason I started this group was to form a bond to help us all heal,” Crane said.

“Hey, that reminds me Doctor C. When are you going to join us? Like you just shared, you’re one of us,” Harley said.

“Yes, Crane, you must join us. We girls have some wild adventures.” Ivy’s vines slinked around Crane’s chair and danced with excitement.

Crane pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and he adjusted nervously in his seat.

“I appreciate the invitation, ladies, but I’m not sure you would extend the invite if you knew who I really was.”

Lena uncrossed her legs and sat forward in her seat.

“Well, now you have to tell us. Who is the real Dr. Jonathan Crane?”

“Maybe another time. We should spend this time focusing on healing. How about you, Lena? How was your week overall?”

Lena sat back and shook her head.

“Lots of highs and lows. I guess I should expect it. At least it’s not all lows like it was before I joined the group.”

Crane smiled and rubbed his knees.

“So, the group is helping?”

“Immensely. All my highs happen Tuesday through Thursday when I am with all of you. The lows come in when I return to National city. When I walk into my cold, lonely apartment and stare out at the mocking skyline that reminds me of _her_ , my heart dies all over again. When I press my hand to the glass and see my reflection, I see a stupid, naïve woman who allowed herself a fleeting moment of fantasy. I change my clothes, sit on the couch, and battle with my demons. I sit there and quietly contemplate trying to reach out again. It takes only seconds for me to remember her cruelty. It takes no time at all for me to remind myself that she was just using me, and when she had enough, she spit me out. The darkness rolls in and I just close my eyes and hold on as tight as I can to the memories of our grand adventures Tuesday through Thursday.”

Lena’s head dropped as they all watched tears fall down her cheeks and onto the linoleum floor.

“Have you considered moving to Gotham for good, kid?” Harley said with a sad smile.

“I wish it were that simple. I have a company to run and I know I can’t run from _her_. It’s not just the skyline that reminds me of her. It’s every song, every romantic movie, every soft fleece throw or little Labrador puppy. It’s every burger, every pasta dish, and every pancake. It’s the smell of the first rain and the over the top decorations at Christmas. It’s every crime committed, and every crime foiled. She seeps into every dream, every fantasy, every hope, and every prayer. The thought of her consumes me and where hope used to accompany each thought, that, and love, now its only bedfellows are pain and regret. When I think of her, and God knows I can’t help but think of her, I feel the loss of her like someone who just died. I mourn the loss of her like one of those old women at the cemetery, dressed in black, praying to meet their husbands in the afterlife. The only company she wants is _him,_ and it makes me sick _._ I gave her all of me and she rejected every single bit. She doesn’t miss me, she doesn’t think of me, she doesn’t worry about me and moving to another city will not change that. No, this is my penance, my punishment for my wrongs. It is my destiny to pine over her and this heartbreak for eternity. She sits somewhere happily, not thinking of me, and all I want to do is break something or scream. But there are good days. There are days where I go out with these three women. We dance, we drink, and for a few fleeting moments, we forget those who have wronged us. We forget Mr. J, Cat’s Cowardly Lion, Ivy’s unrequited love, and my fallen hero. We forget together and it doesn’t feel nearly as bad.”

Lena smiled sadly. Ivy, Harley, and Cat moved to Lena and hugged her close. Lena’s head dropped, and she smiled through her tears, savoring the love of her new friends. Suddenly, they heard Crane get up from his seat. They felt him wrap his arms around the four of them and they all started laughing.

Crane pulled back and smiled.

“Sorry, it’s just so many of the things you said Lena… well, you aren’t alone at all.”

The Sirens took their seats, and everyone wiped their eyes.

“Don’t be sorry, Crane. It’s about time you let your guard down. You’re suffering just like the rest of us,” Lena said.

Crane sat back in his seat and folded his hands in his lap.

“Thank you, Lena. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your flow. Please continue.”

Lena sat back and crossed her legs again. She wrapped an arm around Cat’s chair and smiled.

“It’s okay. Where was I? Oh yeah. My week. Well, I received a strange visit from one of _her_ lackeys telling me how bad it looked that the four of us are hanging out together in public.”

“I sincerely hope you gave that lackey a piece of your mind,” Ivy hissed.

“Oh, I did. I don’t think he’ll be coming around anymore. I told him to send her a message. If she has something to say, she can say it to me directly.”

“Are you sure you don’t want kitty to use her claws, Lena? I’d be happy to rip them all to shreds for hurting you.”

“Yeah. A couple choice hits from the business end of my mallet would shut her lackey up for good,” Harley said with a growl and a grin.

Lena smiled.

“I’m okay. Really. But thank you all. You all make me laugh and I need that right now.”

“Anything else?” Crane asked.

“I burned my journal this week. It’s nothing but a pile of ash now.”

“Really? How do you feel?” Crane said.

“Good, I guess. I suppose it was a cleansing of sorts. I started writing in that journal every single day, the day after my friend Jack died. It wasn’t just a collection of my thoughts about life, it was a record of everything I felt about _her_. The first few moments of joyful confusion, the passion, the longing, the suffering, and the miserable heartbreak. I recorded every detail. At first, it was a journal of my thoughts, but as time passed, it became a collection of letters to _her._ Every time I would see her, I would come home and write in that journal. I would pour my stupid heart out onto the page. Full transparency, all the emotion I couldn’t possibly share with _her_ out loud. That journal represented my weakness, my vulnerability, and my willingness to share every detail with the woman I loved. Those last few entries were so hopeful. I believed with my whole heart that she had forgiven me. I thought we had moved past it all. I’ve never been more wrong in all my life. She lied. She said that she would be there, but she walked away. I took that journal that was so precious to me, as precious as she was, carefully placed it in a box and wrapped it with the prettiest paper I could find. I held that box in my hand, ready to hand it over to her. I might as well have placed my heart in that box. Burning that journal wasn’t just setting fire to a book. It wasn’t just some impulsive decision made by a woman driven mad by love. Carefully placing that leather-bound confession in my lab burn cage and choosing to incinerate it was choosing to let go. I let go of the embarrassment, the pain, and the hate that I know I displaced. I know I don’t hate her. She must hate me to let go so easily, but I don’t hate her. At the beginning of all of this, I hoped to hate her, but now I just hope that I can close my eyes and not see her face or hear her voice calling out to me. I suppose one day I will awaken, hopefully wrapped in the arms of a beautiful woman, and not feel the agony of my longing for my Super. Well, not _my Super._ ”

***

As Lena predicted, returning to her empty apartment Friday night was soul crushing. She flipped on the lights, poured herself an obscenely large glass of fine Irish whiskey, changed her clothes, and sat in the center of her massive bed, like a little girl hiding from the sound of thunder and lighting during a storm. She sobbed uncontrollably. Her chest heaved, and she labored for breath. She didn’t just cry; she wept with the pain of a thousand heartaches. She wailed, allowing herself one moment of genuine breakdown.

“That’s what this is,” Lena whispered to herself. “A storm. A horrible storm that swallows up the sun and all the joy. One day this storm will end, and I won’t feel like this. I miss you, Kara. I miss you so much, but I shouldn’t. I should be angry because you don’t miss me. You abandoned me. You moved on and left me a broken mess. Why do I still love you? Why do I still wish you would call? Why do I worry about your safety and joy when I know you never think about mine? It was always this way. Okay, maybe not always. At first, you were warm, and you loved me. I never doubted it, but the change came abruptly. You became hard and cruel. You watched me flail around you, begging for the table scraps of your attention and love. Everyone else seemed to have a piece of you, but I had to fight. Oh, I fought. You watched as I became more attached, more devoted, and you felt less. My love chipped away at you until there was nothing left. You wonder why I got so angry, why I worked with Lex? I watched you turn from someone who made me feel like a queen to someone who made me feel like dirt on the bottom of your shoe. Sure, you would do what you felt obligated to do. You would scrape me off from time to time, but I’ll never feel like a queen again. I’ll never feel like _your_ queen again, and that hurts me so much I don’t know how I can live. I’d be better off dead. Oh God, did I just say that? Do you see what you have done to me, Kara?”

A loud sound startled Lena nearly to death. It took her a moment to process the knocking at her front door. She wiped her eyes on the gray sleeve of her National City University sweatshirt and climbed off the bed, unsure who would call on her so late at night.

Lena had never felt lower than she felt at that moment. She could bear facing no one in the state she was in, but she would welcome a respite from her self-pity and self-loathing.

When Lena looked through the peephole, her heart warmed over. She threw open the door to find Cat, Harley, and Ivy standing in the hallway holding large black duffle bags.

“Surprise!” Harley shouted.

Lena wiped her eyes and smiled with relief.

“Oh, my God. How are you three here? Come in.”

Lena waved the Siren’s inside and closed the door behind them.

Ivy took Lena’s arm and looked her over from head to toe.

“You were crying, weren’t you?”

Lena wiped away more tears and let out a deep sigh.

“What on earth would make you think I was crying?” Lena asked with a sad smile.

“It looks like we had purrrrrfect timing,” Cat said.

Harley dropped her bag onto the floor and wrapped an arm around Lena’s shoulders.

“Listen, kid. We thought it might be nice if you didn’t have to go through one of your National City nights by yourself. I hope you don’t mind. We just thought it would be nice to get together and see where you live.”

Lena wrapped an arm around Harley’s waist and grinned.

“Of course, I don’t mind. Are you kidding? Here I was feeling sorry for myself and you three show up just when I needed you the most. You three really are the best friends a girl could ask for.”

“Are you okay, Lena? Your face is telling me you had a hard day. Kitty wants to make it better.”

Cat wrapped her arm around Lena’s waist and caressed her cheek against Lena’s. The leather was silky to the touch.

“I’m okay now. Seriously. I don’t know how to thank the three of you. I will admit tonight has been an awfully hard night. Having you three here is such a wonderful surprise. Hey, what’s in the duffle bags? Are we knocking over a jewelry store or something?”

“Nah, we thought something more low-key might be in order for our first visit to National City,” Ivy said.

Harley leaned over and unzipped one of the duffels. Inside, Lena could see fixings for sundaes, popcorn, chips, cookies, and plant food for Ivy.

Lena grinned.

Harley popped up and threw her arms in the air.

“We also brought our pjs. We thought we could make a night of it. Do a little sleepover if you approve. I even brought Bernie!”

Lena shook her head in disbelief.

“Just when I think you three are wonderful, you out do yourselves. This is exactly what I needed, and I am so happy you are all here.”

“So, you approve? Kitty doesn’t like to crowd,” Cat said with a soft purr.

“I do! Come on, I’ll grab some blankets and we can camp out on the couch,” Lena said.

“Hand over the remote and I’ll find us a great movie. Something with action, adventure, and no romance,” Harley said with a wink.

“Romance isn’t bad. I think with the three of you here, I can see the bright side of a love story,” Lena said.

Cat held onto Lena tighter.

“Or we can boo and hiss at the screen and dream of clawing their eyes out.”

Lena burst into laughter.

“Well, that works too.”

***

The four women curled up on Lena’s couch and watched two movies back to back. Harley and Ivy changed into their pajamas. Cat wore her catsuit and mask and curled up close to Lena. She laid in Lena’s lap and purred softly as Lena caressed her back like a sweet little lap kitty. Lena leaned down and kissed Cat’s head.

“One day I want to know the real you. I want to feel the real you,” Lena whispered in Cat’s ear.

Cat moved a hand to Lena’s heart and smiled.

“One day you will. I promise.”

Ivy cleared her throat.

“You know what, I could use another cocktail. How about you, Lena?” Ivy asked.

“Sure. I’ll come and help.”

Lena popped up and followed Ivy into the kitchen. Lena gathered the ingredients for their cocktails while Ivy paced around the kitchen nervously.

Lena placed a hand on Ivy’s shoulder and smiled.

“Are you okay, Ivy?”

Ivy turned to Lena. Her vines floated high above them, protecting them like an umbrella.

“Lena, I want you to know that what we say… we mean every word.”

Lena ran a gentle hand along Ivy’s vines and smiled.

“I know, sweetie. I’ve never doubted it.”

“I want to do something for you, but only if it is something that you would be comfortable with.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“As you know, my touch is deadly, my kiss is deadlier. This helps me defend against those who would hurt me, but it also prevents me from forming intimate bonds with the people I am closest to.”

“I’m so sorry. That must be extraordinarily difficult.”

“When I trust someone completely, I can share an antidote of sorts. The antidote gives a person immunity to my toxins and allows them to be affectionate with me without fear. Lena, I’ve shared this toxin with Harley and Cat, and I would like to offer the antidote to you. It would bond us.”

“I’m honored, Ivy. Truly.”

“So, is that a yes?”

“Are you sure you and the other girls are okay with this? I know we just met.”

“I spoke to Cat and Harley, and they both agree. We do our best to make you feel loved and welcome, but this would really seal the deal. Do you know why my vines wrap around you the way they do?”

“Because you are lovely, and you want to protect me?”

“Absolutely. That is true, but there is another reason. From the moment we met, I felt a kinship to you I have never felt with anyone else before. Unrequited love is something that has afflicted me for so long. It has crushed us both. I know the bitter agony of wanting someone you can’t have. Someone who is affectionate and kind, but just doesn’t see you that way. It’s torture. When I met you, I felt like our hearts connected. Two withered vines, holding on for some answer, some solace that lived just outside of our grasp. I want to share this gift with you because I want to protect you, love you, and hold on to you until we both feel right again.”

“How could I say no? I am so honored, Ivy. Honored and thankful to have you in my life. I swear, sometimes this all feels like a fantastic dream.”

“I’m sure if this was a dream, Harley wouldn’t be mixing your expensive brandy with root beer.”

The two women looked over and watched Harley pouring copious amounts of Lena’s best brandy into a tall glass of root beer.

Lena chuckled.

“Touché!”

Their laughter carried quickly through the apartment and caught the attention of their two friends.

“What kind of trouble are you two kitties getting up to in there?” Cat said.

“Nothing!” Ivy and Lena said in unison.

***

The infusion was quick and painless. Ivy and Lena took a quiet moment, and it was over in a flash. When they returned to the couch and cuddled up, Lena knew in her heart that there was no going back. She was one of the Sirens now.

***

Harley, Lena, and Ivy had been asleep for a few hours. Cat paced around them protectively. She watched Lena sleeping and longed to be near her. In the full moon’s light, Cat pulled off her mask. She untied her blonde hair and let it flow over her shoulders. She shook her head a few times, savoring the freedom of removing her mask.

When she slipped under the blanket next to Lena, she wore nothing but a pair of panties. She was all softness and warmth. She laid on top of Lena and pulled the sheet over them. Lena stirred and opened her eyes. Just enough light from the moon shone through the sheet, revealing the silhouette of Cat’s real visage.

Lena opened her mouth to speak, but Cat pressed a single finger to her lips and kissed her cheek softly.

“You said you wanted to see the real me, feel the real me,” Cat whispered.

Lena smiled and ran her hands up and down Cat’s skin. She could feel the goosebumps meet her fingertips with every press and caress.

“You are breathtaking, Cat. I don’t know what to say.”

“Just kiss me and hold me close. I know your heart belongs to Supergirl. I know you are in pain and cannot bear to start something new with someone else, but just find comfort in my arms and I will find comfort in yours.”

Lena wrapped her arms around Cat’s tiny waist and held her close. She pressed her lips to Cat’s and kissed her, her fire renewed. Lena pulled back the sheet and climbed off the couch silently. She extended a hand to Cat and guided her into the bedroom. She could feel Cat shiver from the cold. Lena grabbed her tight and rubbed her hands over her back, her arms, and down along her smooth round backside. She kissed Cat with a desire she thought was dead. She wanted her; she needed her, but just how much she was willing to do, she wasn’t sure.

Lena moved to the bed and pulled back the blankets. She motioned for Cat to climb under the covers. In the moon’s light, she could see Cat more clearly. Her body was exquisite, her movements were catlike, but they were also sensual. Cat smiled and licked her lips. She was not playing; this was no caricature of a woman. This was the real Cat. No walls, no costumes, just two broken-hearted women seeking shelter in each other’s arms.

Lena laid down next to Cat and rubbed her cheek with the back of her hand, feather soft.

“You are absolutely breathtaking, Cat. I don’t know what to say.”

“Say nothing at all. Just hold me close, kiss me, touch me anywhere you like. Command me, care for me, and call me Selina.”


	6. Rolling In The Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena receives a startling visit from Supergirl...  
> Lena discover an interesting side effect from Ivy's generous gift...  
> and Lena finally starts to unravel the mystery behind Kara's behavior

Lena awoke to the feeling of Selina’s breath on her cheek. She felt the weight of her, and somehow things didn’t feel nearly as bad. She ran a hand along her warm skin, savoring the tingle of each connection between her fingers and Selina’s body. It still amazed her that Selina removed her mask and let Lena see the real her. She was exquisite. Her tousled blonde hair, her wiry frame, and the sheer vulnerability of her made Lena quiver. They held each other all night, lips pressing together, tongues searching for satisfaction, hands clawing and kneading. They didn’t make love. They were content being together, and Lena knew in her heart that Kara would haunt each moment of their passionate rendezvous.

She _was_ Lena’s fantasy. Lena had spent many a night imaging Kara bursting into her apartment wearing one of her signature dress shirts and a pair of pressed pants. She would bite her lip as she imagined Kara running a hand along her inner thigh and up her skirt. Her mind would paint a tawdry picture of Kara flipping her over the arm of her white couch and dominating her until there was nothing left of Lena but a satisfied puddle of a person, melted like wax under the flame of Kara’s maddening desire. Breathlessness would overtake her as she dreamed up images of Kara sliding into her rhythmically, faster and faster. She would pant at the thought of Kara moving along the bed, naked, hungry, and ready to devour her until she could take no more. Lena knew she needed to chip the image of Kara bringing her to her knees and demanding her adoration out of her mind forever. She would never worship Kara again. She needed to dominate. She needed to change the narrative of her desire and find a new fantasy. 

Lena smoothed a gentle hand over Selina’s head, opened her eyes wide, and stared out at the National City dawn. Her heart dropped when she saw Supergirl floating outside her window, invading every bit of their privacy and peace. Her contentment shattered in an instant and her heart filled with rage. Lena moved the blanket to cover Selina and threw on her robe. She ran out to the balcony and shut the door tight behind her, mindful of her other guests who were fast asleep in the living room.

She cried out, angry tears pooling in her eyes.

“Where are you? Get over here and face me, you coward!”

Supergirl floated down slowly and settled about twenty feet away from the balcony’s edge.

Lena was livid. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest. She could taste rust in her mouth where she had bitten her lip in anger.

Supergirl said nothing.

Lena grabbed the edge of the balcony and reeled at the image of Supergirl staring back at her blankly.

“SAY SOMETHING DAMN YOU! SAY SOMETHING! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Supergirl smiled, but her eyes were void of any emotion at all.

Lena squeezed and suddenly the concrete crumbled between her fingers. Supergirl’s face dropped. She was shaken. Before Lena could react, the balcony door opened, and she could sense her three friends move in close behind her.

Lena turned and saw that Selina had transformed back into Cat. Harley and Ivy stood on either side of Lena, protectively.

“You okay, Lena?” Ivy asked.

Her vines lifted behind the four women, cradling them close.

Lena turned back to Supergirl and screamed.

“You don’t respond to my text messages, you ignore my emails, and now you’re lurking like a pervert outside my window? SAY SOMETHING! ARE YOU BROKEN? DO YOU HATE ME? STOP HAUNTING ME!”

Supergirl floated closer and continued to smile.

“You are very silly, and I don’t have time for silly. To hate you, I would need to feel, and for you, I feel nothing. I wasn’t lurking because I’m a perverted seeking a cheap thrill. I was monitoring the den of crime you have dragged into National City. You lie around in decadence, surrounded by villains because you are a villain.”

Lena knew she should be angry, but all she could do was weep. Venom laced each word she said to Lena. She turned fast on her heels and collapsed into Harley’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

Ivy stepped in front of Lena.

“What did she ever do to you to deserve this? You ignore her, you tell her you feel nothing after everything you two have been through. You are NOTHING but a garbage person! There is nothing ‘ _Super’_ about you at all. I don’t know if someone cut your heart out and replaced it with toxic waste, but I think it’s about time you leave before we find out if I have enough poison in my body to kill a Kryptonian. There is no ‘den of crime’ here. Just three women who care about Lena and are sickened by the very thought of you. Get out of here! Leave her alone!”

Supergirl just shrugged her shoulders, turned, and flew off into the dawn without another word.

Lena collapsed to the ground. Ivy, Harley, and Cat sank to their knees and held her close. The sun rose high above National City, but for Lena, the day was dark and cold.

***

Harley poured two fingers of bourbon into a glass and handed it to Lena. Cat held her close and kissed her head. Ivy wiped her eyes with a tissue and caressed her cheek. Lena drank the bourbon down in one long drag.

“Leave the bottle,” Lena said.

“You gotcha. You drink as much as you need to. If I were you, I’d drink a whole liquor store’s worth of this stuff.”

Harley filled Lena’s glass, set the bottle down on the table, and took a seat next to Ivy.

“I know I was angry, but how did I crush concrete?”

“Sorry, Lena. That’s my fault. I failed to mention last night that giving you the infusion of the antidote would likely give you increased strength and stamina. It’s different for everyone. There are no ill effects, but you will see marked improvement in both areas.”

“Yep! When Ivy injected me with the good stuff, I got crazy strong. Like hyena strong! Ivy can do some impressive stuff with that poison of hers. She can even use it as a truth serum!”

Lena’s head dropped, and she stared at the ground, too distracted by her heartbreak.

“I didn’t think it was possible for this to hurt anymore than it already did, but this pain is excruciating. She was such a monster. I don’t even recognize her. I keep telling myself that she must be under someone else’s influence, but you can see she barely wants to spend any time with me, and she treats me like a stranger. I just wish I knew what was going through her mind.”

“I get it. I always wished I had some insight into what Mr. J was thinking. He was an enigma wrapped in a crazy clown’s body.”

“Something about our exchange is bothering me. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

“I don’t blame you. She was exceptionally cruel,” Ivy said. “I wanted to end her for saying such hurtful things to you.”

“It’s something more. It was the words she chose. There was something strange about the way she spoke to me. I don’t know. I think my brain was fogged with anger and pain. I just wish I knew why she changed her mind so abruptly. I really thought she wanted to make peace and work on our friendship.”

“Kitty could be a naughty girl and break into her lair. Maybe she keeps a journal or something that would explain her behavior. You would finally know what is rattling around in her purrrectly foul heart.”

“You said there was a boyfriend. How about I pay him a visit? Maybe he’s controlling her. You never know with men,” Harley said, smiling at Ivy.

“No. I would never ask you to do that, Harley, and thank you for the offer, Cat. I don’t think you should try to find anything on your own. You could get into some serious trouble if she caught you.” Lena rubbed her chin and stared straight ahead, enveloped in quiet contemplation. “You know, I could probably get in and out quickly. I know her place well. It would be helpful to know what is going on in her head. I may need some pointers, Cat. Do you have an extra catsuit lying around?”

“Anything you need, my tigress. Anything. Kitty is here.”

***

Lena spent the next week surveilling Kara and developing a plan for her break-in. As much as it pained Lena to see Kara with William, she wanted to get an idea of what her patterns were now that they were no longer speaking. She noticed that they left together almost every evening and occasionally, Kara wouldn’t return until the next morning. Lena’s heart broke more with every minute that passed.

Ivy, Harley, and Cat all offered to accompany Lena on her stakeouts and her eventual break-in, but she couldn’t show them where Kara lived. She decided that no matter what Kara had done to her, regardless of the icy dagger she drove into her heart, she would protect her secret identity. No matter how much pain Kara inflicted, Lena would always love her. She felt it in her bones.

As Lena watched Kara moving around her apartment alone, the strangest urge pressed in on her. She needed to be near her. She needed to say everything she felt in her heart. She wanted to let her rage explode all over the icy Kryptonian, but then suddenly, she had a thought. She weighed her options for a moment. Without another moment's hesitation, she grabbed her phone, exited her car, and made her way up to Kara’s apartment.

She knocked three times, but she heard no movement. She knocked again and held her breath. She knew Kara was inside and she knew she was awake.

When the door opened, the face that greeted her was a stranger. The person who stood before her possessed Kara’s shiny blonde hair and deep blue eyes. She wore her clothes and her glasses, but she was a stranger, nonetheless.

“Are you serious?” Kara asked flatly.

Lena bit her lip and desperately choked back her tears.

“I need to say something. I know it’s pointless since you have decided you feel nothing for me, but I still need to say it.”

“No one is stopping you.”

Lena moved past Kara and walked inside her apartment. She took a quick look around to see if there was anything out of place.

“I’m sorry,” Lena said.

Kara’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“I don’t understand. You came here to apologize?”

“I did. I am the villain here. I am the one who started everything.”

Kara closed the door and walked inside the apartment. She stepped into the kitchen and stood behind the counter, adding distance and a barrier between her and Lena.

“What do you mean?”

“You had a secret. A big one. A secret that everyone else in your life knew. When I found out who you really were, I know I snapped. I know the things I did were unforgiveable, but you crushed me. You broke me and I lashed out. I know it wasn’t right, Kara. I know that I should have handled this like an adult.”

Kara shook her head and looked down for a moment. Lena scanned the apartment again to see if there was anything out of place.

_A cup of tea partially consumed. A copy of “The Great Gatsby” opened and splayed onto the table next to the tea. A chenille throw balled up against the pillows, and classical music playing softly in the background. Something is not right here._

Suddenly, Lena noticed a book under the couch. There appeared to be a piece of paper or an envelope peeking out between the pages.

_Is she hiding the book from me? Does she realize the book is down there?_

Lena walked over and took a seat on the couch. She held Kara’s gaze.

“What do you expect me to say?” Kara asked coolly. “I’ve already apologized to you, Lena. All of this is in the past, and none of it is important now. I have moved on and I strongly suggest you move on too. Just get over it. You can pour your heart out to me, but none of your feelings matter. I have no response to anything you say.”

Kara grunted and turned to the refrigerator. She opened the door and stared blankly. Lena reached downed and grabbed the paper that rested between the pages of the book. She skillfully slipped the mystery envelope into the breast pocket of her jacket before Kara turned around. Lena stood quickly and moved to Kara’s side.

_Strange. Her refrigerator is practically empty. That’s not like Kara at all._

Kara shut the door quickly and stepped away, once again increasing the distance between them.

“You say you have moved on and have no interest in knowing me or speaking to me. I guess we aren’t friends anymore then.”

“You didn’t act like a friend, Lena. You acted like a lunatic and just expected me to forgive you. I have my own problems and I don’t have the time or energy to care about what madness is fueling your crimes. We aren’t friends anymore, and your feeble attempts to hold on to me are pathetic. I was told that Luthors were brilliant minds who always saw the solution to the problem laid out before them, but you don’t get it. You’re dead to me, Lena. I don’t care about you. I don’t care if you’re happy, if you’re healthy, or if you’re safe. I don’t care whether you’re in danger. I don’t care about your business, your hopes, or your fears. I don’t care. You are dead to me. Just leave.”

Lena’s pulse quickened and her breath became labored with rage. She clenched her fists and bit down hard on her jaw.

“Thank you, Kara. Thank you for showing me the real you. You know, when I think back to the first time we met at that gala, I wonder if I ever should have given you the time of day.”

**Lena waited.**

“Well, then I guess it’s time for you to rectify the situation and get out.”

_Bingo._

Lena did her best to suppress her reaction. She hurried to the front door and opened it. Kara followed closely behind her, closing the door as Lena stepped one foot over the threshold. Lena turned around, stopped the door with her foot, and smiled.

“I get it now,” Lena said.

“What do you get?”

“I know Kara Danvers better than she knows herself.”

“What do you mean? You think you know me better than I know myself?”

“Forget it. Have a nice life. I won’t bother you again.”

Lena turned on her heels and walked down the hallway as fast as her feet would carry her.

“Finally,” she whispered to herself. “Now the real work begins.”

**"Rolling In The Deep," by Adele**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/1CkvWZme3pRgbzaxZnTl5X?si=_3454P9tRACcxAs4QgkuXg**


	7. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena reads the contents of the envelope...  
> She seeks the help of her new friends...  
> A plan is hatched and it involves making William Dey suffer!

The clock started ticking the minute Lena stepped foot back into her apartment. She slammed the door, locked it tight, and pressed her back against the cool wood. The muscles in her cheeks hurt from smiling. It had been so long.

“It’s not her. Thank God, it’s not her, but where is she? Who the hell is in her apartment? _She_ knows I know. There isn’t much time. I need to get back to Gotham and clear my head. Maybe the group can help. I need to find my Kara. Oh God, _my_ Kara.”

Guilt washed over Lena suddenly. Her smile dropped and her heart sank.

“How did I ever doubt her? How did I think my sweet golden retriever puppy Kara could say such horrible things to me? She may not feel the same way I do, but I know she cares about me. I hate that I doubted her.”

Lena took a step forward, stumbled, and lost her footing. She was dizzy with confusion. She grabbed her purse and took a seat on the couch. She pulled out her cell and called the hangar at once.

“Hi, this is Lena Luthor. I need my jet fueled and ready to leave in an hour for Gotham City. Yes, one hour. Thank you.”

Lena sent a quick message to her assistant informing her of the change in her travel plans. She knew she needed to get away from National City as soon as possible. She tried calling Sam, but there was no answer. She couldn’t send her a text. She was with Alex, which meant that whatever evidence she brought to Sam would need to be sound.

“Talk about timing. She pushed me away, Alex is in Metropolis, and J’onn seems far more focused on me than he does the devil in his midst.”

Lena knew she needed to make one more call before she boarded the plane. When she picked up, Lena’s heart rested easier.

“Lena? Are you okay? It’s late. What’s going on?”

“It’s not her, Selina. I confronted her. It’s not her.”

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent. I know her. The woman who is claiming to be Supergirl is an imposter. It started with that weird conversation outside my apartment. I convinced myself that I deserved her disdain. It clouded my judgement. The way she spoke to me seemed off. Really off. I remember her saying she wasn’t a ‘perverted’ instead of saying ‘pervert’. She also used the word ‘decadence’ which I don’t think I have ever heard her use in conversation. I thought maybe I misheard her, but I know now something wasn’t right. When I went to her apartment tonight, everything was wrong. There was a cup of tea, a copy of ‘The Great Gatsby’, an unused blanket, an empty refrigerator, and classical music playing.

“What’s strange about those things?” Selina asked.

“She only drinks tea when she’s sick. She can read, but she would always rather watch a romantic comedy. I’ve never seen her sit on the couch and not have a throw nestled around her, even when it’s hot outside. She’s a Kryptonian, so she has an insatiable appetite. She could eat for days. Her refrigerator would never be empty. I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.”

“If what you say is true, and she is impersonating Supergirl, she could be extremely dangerous. You should come here. I’ll gather the troops. Maybe I’ll call Crane. He’s a therapist and may have some insight into what we are dealing with. Maybe he and Harley can put their heads together and help you figure out who is doing this and why. Don’t worry, Lena. We will find her.”

“I’m prepping my jet. I’ll fly out in an hour and I’ll be in Gotham tonight. I’m staying at the Plaza. Will you meet me? I need to find her. She could be out there somewhere in trouble.”

“Of course. Let me rally the team and we will meet you as soon as you land.”

“Selina.”

“Yes?”

“The connection between us… you and I…,” Lena started.

“Lena, I adore you. You are dear to us all. I know you love her more than life itself. You don’t have to say another word. I will do everything in my power to help you find her. We all will.”

***

Lena took in a deep cleansing breath and exhaled when the limo pulled away from her apartment. She had been holding her breath since she left Kara’s, and she finally felt like she could breathe. She leaned back against the soft leather and closed her eyes. It seemed almost silly that she would flee National City trying to get away from Kara, but _she_ wasn’t Kara.

Lena slipped her hand into her jacket pocket and pulled out the envelope she found in Kara’s apartment. She slipped her finger under the glue and pulled back the flap. She pulled out the folded pages carefully. She read the first two words and warmth washed over her. Her eyes welled with tears. She ran her hand over the words written so neatly and with so much care.

_Dearest Lena,_

_This year has been the hardest of my life. I have suffered great pain losing my parents, losing my home, saying goodbye to Mon-El, but this year without you by my side has left me truly heartbroken. I know that my deception was the impetus for your descent into darkness. Lena, you do not know the burden I carry. The burden of this secret crushes me, but nothing crushed me more than keeping the secret from you. I need you to believe me when I tell you I kept my identity a secret to protect you. You are precious to me. More precious than any other living soul. I protected you above all others because the very thought of losing you was too excruciating to bear. All that worry, and I lost you anyway._

_I know you were hurt. I know hearing my secret from Lex instead of from my own lips made the pain so much worse, and I cannot begin to tell you how terrible I feel for waiting. I have told you repeatedly how terrible I feel, but I know words will never be enough._

_We are going to see each other for the first time tomorrow since we spoke. I’m glad we spoke, and I am relieved that we will take on the challenge of taking down Lex together. Thank you for saving my life not once, but twice. I am so used to being the hero, but I knew just how much you loved me and that you had forgiven me when you protected me the way you did._

_I’m nervous about tomorrow. It’s not because I haven’t forgiven you. I hope you understand that. It’s something so different. Something that has plagued me since the day we met. Something that has hung over me like an unknown stranger that only revealed itself to me when you stopped talking to me and walked away._

_I don’t know how to say it. I mean, of course I am writing a letter because I don’t know how to say the words aloud, but what I mean is I am at a total loss for words when I try to describe how I feel about you. I’m sorry I’m babbling._

_You lied. You used me, had me steal for you, and you used kryptonite against me. These things should have made me hate you, or at the very least, trust you less. Any normal person would walk into our meeting tomorrow with doubt and hesitation in their heart, but all I feel is a paralyzing need to be near you. All I feel is heart crushing longing to hug you again. I don’t hate you. I don’t distrust you even though I know I should. Why, you ask?_

_The reason is simple. Lena, you are my everything. You are my world. You are the most stunningly beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon. Your dignity and grace are like no other. Your passion is why I love you. Your passion fuels your darkness, but I love it just the same. I love you. I love your heart; I love your soul; I love your beautifully flawed self-doubt. I love your need to help and I love that I meant so much to you, that my betrayal drove you mad. I am not happy you were in pain and I am not happy you used kryptonite on me, but to know that you cared that much, touched my heart in the strangest way. I am just in awe that anyone could love me so much that they were literally willing to destroy everything in the wake of their heartbreak. I know that sounds crazy. I’m sorry. There is just so much running through my mind._

_So, here it goes. I have been madly, completely, head over heels in love with you since the moment we met. Sure, I didn’t understand what I was feeling. Here I was thinking I just really wanted to be your friend, immediately trusted you, and wanted to be near you all the time. I thought it was completely normal that every minute we spent together made butterflies tumble around in my stomach like I had just eaten a deluxe meal from Big Belly Burger._

_Lena, if there really are two halves to one heart, you complete mine. No one in my life has ever meant as much to me as you do. No one has ever driven me as mad with longing, jealousy, or desire. I love your beauty, your brilliant mind, and your caring heart, but most of all, I love the way you love me. The next few weeks are going to be exceptionally hard. It will take some work to bring you back into the fold with the group, but I will do everything in my power to bring you home. Where you go is where I want to be. I needed you to apologize for all the things you’ve done, not because I couldn’t forgive you, but because I needed to know if your actions were truly fueled by rage or if they were fueled by your love for me._

_Alex says you’re in love with me. She says no one would go as crazy as you did if they weren’t in love. Are you in love with me? Is it too much to hope that you could feel the same way I do? Is it too much to hope that we can move past all of this and have a first date, share a first dance, or kiss under the mistletoe? I know I am probably watching too many romantic comedies, but you know I’m just a sappy romantic at heart._

_There is no way I could ever give this letter to you. Or maybe I can. If I seal it, I will give it to you. If I close the envelope, I will hand this letter to you and run away, too embarrassed to see your reaction. I’m a child._

_Lena, ignoring all the nonsense above, this much is true. I am madly in love with you. You have my heart, my soul, and every part of me. I want to be with you. I want to kiss your lips softly, cuddle with you on chilly nights, and never let you go. Losing you for as long as I did made me realize that a world without you near me isn’t a world I want to live in. Please don’t make me emigrate to another planet. I finally got used to this one. Ha! See, I have a sense of humor. Oh Rao, there is no way you will ever see this letter. It is ridiculous, embarrassing, and is making less sense by the minute. Who am I kidding? No one knows me better than you do. You’ll look at this and if you don’t run away in terror seeing my genuine feelings, hopefully you’ll understand that the reason it is such a mess is that you make me a mess, Lena Luthor._

_You confuse me; you entice me; you inspire me, and I love you._

_When I see you tomorrow, I doubt I will brave enough to say any of these words aloud, but please know that this is exactly what I feel in my heart in the most embarrassing level of detail possible._

_Very, truly, lovingly, embarrassingly honest,_

_Yours_

_Kara_

_P.S._

_If you read this letter and decide that you don’t feel the same way about me, please shred the pages and assume some crazy form of kryptonite sickness struck me._

_I love you. Okay. I think I said it enough._

Lena cried so hard she could barely breathe. She soaked the pages through with her tears.

“She loves me. Here I thought she didn’t want to be friends, and she hated me, but she loves me. SHE LOVES ME!” Lena yelled.

Her loud exclamation startled the driver, but he corrected his course and gave her a smile in the rearview mirror.

“Very good, Ms. Luthor.”

“Step on it. The sooner I can get to the airport, the sooner I can find her and tell her I love her too.”

The drive pressed his foot to the gas, and the car sped down the road. Lena sat back, held the letter to her heart and grinned.

“I’m coming, Kara. Just hold on and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

***

“I don’t understand why she needed to be so cruel,” Ivy said, pacing around the hotel room. “If she is trying to hide, why would she be so over the top?”

“I don’t know. I wish I knew. I am just relieved that it wasn’t Kara saying those terrible things. Her letter was so beautiful.”

Harley sat on the floor in front of the mini fridge, pulling out all the food and drinks.

“So, what’s the plan kids? We need to take this imposter down. My mallet wants to taste blood.”

Cat laid across the back of the couch and licked her hand.

“Well, let’s break this down. We have one naughty imposter, one missing super, and no leads. We need more information.”

“But where do we start?” Lena asked.

“Well, kitty brought an extra catsuit just in case you want to take a peek at her apartment.”

Crane sat back on the loveseat and crossed his legs.

“Lena, didn’t you say she was dating someone?”

“She is.”

“That’s our way in. Maybe this guy knows something,” Crane said.

“What if he does? How are we going to convince him to talk?” Lena asked.

Ivy’s vines danced wildly.

“Well, if you’ll recall, my poison excretes a truth serum. I’ve heard it is terribly painful.”

“Do not worry a single hair on your head, beautiful tigress. I doubt _this_ group will have any problems frightening the truth out of ‘the boyfriend’. Kitty’s claws should convince him to loosen his tongue. Well, they will when I threaten to cut it out.”

“Bernie says I should use my mallet for good, but what better cause than scaring the rainbow poopsicles out of this… what’s his name again?”

“William fucking Dey. I hate everything about this guy. I just don’t trust him,” Lena said.

Crane stood up and opened his blazer. He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a burlap hood.

“I think it’s time for me to show you ladies my secret identity. I think my particular skill set may come in useful. I just hope you’re still willing to talk to me after you see who I am.”

Ivy’s vines twirled around Crane’s shoulders.

“Be brave, dear doctor. We will not judge you.”

“Gosh, Dr. C, you ought to know by now that this is a safe space. We got your back.”

Crane slipped the burlap bag over the top of his head.

“Hi, my name is Dr. Jonathan Crane, but you can call me Scarecrow.”

Lena smiled.

“This is definitely going to be fun.”

Harley punched her fist into her palm.

“Let’s go find William fucking Dey!”


	8. Dark is the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catwoman loans Lena a slinky leather catsuit and she is surprised how good it feels. The two leather-clad ladies break into Kara's apartment seeking answers. Meanwhile, Crane, Harley, and Ivy show William Dey why they earned the distinction of Gotham's scariest Supervillains.
> 
> Will Lena learn the identity of the impersonator?  
> Will Lena find Kara?  
> Will Dey piss himself with fear?
> 
> Only one way to find out. Happy Reading and Happy Supercorp Sunday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter marks the end of Part I. Stay tuned for Part II after the holidays. Thanks for reading and Happy Holidays!

The swish of the supple leather shifting as she moved was strangely satisfying. The catsuit and cowl she wore, on loan from Selina, helped her slink through the shadows, but she couldn’t help but feel a little silly running around in a costume. She was a Luthor, after all. Still, there was something incredibly sexy about wearing tight leather.

_I want to wear this for you, Kara. I want to crawl into your lap and show you how devoted I am. Where are you? Stop Lena! Think about something else. Anything else. Leather. Claws. Cat. Breaking and entering. Jesus, what am I doing? I’m going to jail._

Lena did her best to concentrate on small, inconsequential things to get her through the crippling pain she felt knowing her Kara was missing. She stared off into the night, distracted by her wanting. She looked up at the moon, desperate for any connection to Kara.

“I wonder if _my_ Supergirl can see the moon right now,” Lena whispered.

Cat sat perched, wrapped in her own tight leather outfit, and licked the back of her hand. She stared down at the street, fixated. She was the huntress.

“I’m sure she can, kitten. Just stay strong and we will find her. Are you okay?”

“No. I’m terrified.”

“Are you nervous about the break-in?”

Lena shook her head and stared down at the street.

“What if she wasn’t just kidnapped? What if she was…,” Lena asked before she stopped herself abruptly. “I can’t say it.”

She stared down into the street and bit her lip.

_Don’t start crying now. You’re about to commit a felony, or is it a misdemeanor? Jeez. I don’t know. Stay cool._

“Don’t let those terrible thoughts creep into your mind. That imposter has something to do with all of this. If we ever cross paths, I’ll claw her eyes out.”

Lena smiled.

“Thanks, Cat.”

“For what?”

“For being here, for loaning me this dominatrix outfit, but most of all, for having my back. You’ve been my rock.”

“Always, kitten. Always.”

Lena looked down and saw the imposter walking out of Kara’s apartment building with Dey. They kissed, went their separate ways, and disappeared into the night.

_Thank God my Kara isn’t with William Fucking Dey. Just the thought makes me cringe._

“Look, there she is. I’ll text the others that Dey is on the move,” Lena said. “I hope they just monitor him until we get there. I don’t want to have a corpse on my hands. You don’t think they’ll try anything with him, do you?”

“That is why you’re the best of us. We don’t mind leaving corpses,” Cat said, checking the sharpness of her claws. “But I’m sure they will just watch him until we arrive.”

“Why am I not convinced?”

Cat stood and stretched her body to limber up. She was tall, thin, and had almost contortionist like flexibility. Lena watched her as she stretched and grinned just a little.

“See what you’re missing, my purrrfect little cat burglar? You have no idea how far I can bend.”

Lena had to stifle her laughter to protect their cover. She sent the text and slipped the phone into the hidden pocket of her pants.

“Selina.”

Cat moved closer to Lena and smiled. Outfit or no outfit, it was clear Lena was talking to the real woman under the mask when she used her actual name.

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“I’m bringing you with me because I trust you. There is no conceivable way I can take you into Supergirl’s apartment without you seeing what her actual identity is. I swore to protect her secret at all costs, but this situation calls for some flexibility. Please tell me if you won’t be able to keep her secret and I will go alone.”

“You and I share a similar burden, Lena. I know Batman’s true identity. I know what is like to keep such a monumental secret. I swear to you I will help you get into her apartment and stand guard. I will do nothing to seek information about her identity, and if I learn anything, I will carry the secret to my grave. I know how important she is to you.”

Lena wrapped her arms around Selina’s neck and kissed her cheek.

Selina smiled and pressed her arms around Lena tight.

“Can you imagine if Crane saw us like this?” Lena asked with a chuckle. “Two leather-clad cats sharing a tender moment.”

“His poor heart wouldn’t be able to take it. Did you see his face when you modeled your catsuit? I’m sure he stopped breathing for a minute. Harley and Ivy were looking at you like a porkchop.”

“I could get used to this look.”

Lena straightened her cowl and did a stretch of her own.

“Wait until your Super sees you. She will bow down at your feet. Speaking of your Super, we should see what we can find in her apartment before the imposter returns. Follow me, step where I step, and remember to breathe. You will be great, kitten.”

“Meow,” Lena said in a deep raspy voice.

“Christ, Lena. You don’t make it easy to be _just_ friends.”

Lena gave Selina a wink, and they headed for the edge of the roof. Lena watched as Cat slinked her way over the edge and dropped expertly to the thin ledge below. Lena took a deep breath and followed Cat, determined to bring her Kara home. She would do anything to hold Kara in her arms once more.

_I’m coming, Kara. I will find you._

***

The sound of Dey’s feet scraping along the ground as Crane dragged him into the warehouse was jarring, but there was no one else around for miles to hear the eerie sound. It had taken very little to subdue William Fucking Dey. Blood trickled from his hairline and down his temple where Harley hit him with her mallet. His eye was black, and his lip was bleeding and swollen.

Harley tied Dey to a drum filled with toxic waste, and Ivy was happy to call to her sister vines from outside to add more secure restraints. 

Crane adjusted his hood. He was Scarecrow now.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? Lena asked us to follow him, not torture the guy,” Ivy said. Her vines shook and jutted out towards Dey aggressively. “I need to stay calm. Too much excitement makes me unpredictable.”

“We are doing what Lena is too good to do. That poor kid needs quick answers and we’re gonna help her get them. She calls the guy ‘William Fucking Dey’. I highly doubt there is any love lost between them. Time to wake up Willy! How about I hit him in the head again?” Harley said licking her lips.

“No, darling. Your mallet is why he is sleeping so soundly and may not remember his name when he awakens. Maybe Mr. Scarecrow can provide some help,” Ivy said with a smile.

Crane stepped forward and pulled a handful of powder from his pocket.

“Stand back, ladies. You do not want to get caught in the crossfire.”

Ivy and Harley moved to a safe distance. 

Crane blew the tiniest amount of powder forward and it landed on Dey’s face. Within a matter of seconds, Dey’s eyes opened, and he howled in terror. He fought against his restraints and cringed at the sight of Scarecrow’s terrifying visage.

“Where the hell am I? What the hell are you? What is this? Let me go?”

Harley chuckled and swung her mallet in the air.

“Not so tough are you, William Fucking Dey?”

Dey looked at Harley and whimpered. 

“What is this weak little man seeing?” Ivy asked Crane.

“His worst fear. I only used a little, which means he’s a big coward.”

“What a wuss,” Harley chortled.

“I don’t know. If I saw Harley coming at me with her mallet, I would probably scream in terror too,” Crane said.

“Aww shucks. Thanks Doc!”

“What the hell do you want from me?” Dey demanded.

Crane stepped forward and moved his face uncomfortably close to Dey. The scratchy burlap rubbed against Dey’s blood face.

“Simple. We know the Supergirl that is flying around National City is an imposter. You’re dating her. What do you know?”

“What are you talking about?” Dey said. “That’s nonsense.”

“That woman is an imposter. You’re gonna tell us what you know or I’m gonna crack your head in half like an egg. Mr. J taught me some highly effective techniques for extracting the truth from scaredy cats like you. I promise it won’t be pretty. Right, Mr. Crow?” Harley turned to Crane and beamed.

Crane nodded his hooded head and rubbed his hands together.

Ivy stepped forward. She hissed and suddenly her sister vines wrapped themselves around Dey tighter. One slipped around his neck and squeezed.

“Let me put this to you in a way that you’ll understand. First, we are going to have Harley here hit you. I don’t know if you can see the joy in her eyes, but she is looking forward to introducing her mallet to your testicles. After that, my friend Mr. Crow here will use a lot more of that powder on you. You won’t know what hit you. If you still refuse to talk, I can secrete a truth serum of sorts that is effective and excruciatingly painful. All we want to know is where the real Supergirl is.”

Dey’s face went white.

“I have literally NO idea what you are all going on about. I am dating Kara Danvers and she is the same Kara Danvers she has been since we met. What do you want me to tell you? I’ll tell you anything!”

Crane, Ivy, and Harley stepped back and huddled up for a hushed conference.

“This isn’t working,” Ivy said. “Do you think he’s telling the truth? Who is this Kara Danvers?”

“It seems like he is telling the truth. His fear is genuine. That much I can tell,” Crane said. “Kara Danvers may be Supergirl’s alter ego.”

“Some boyfriend! Nice job giving away her identity.” Ivy turned to Crane and Harley. “Maybe the two of you can use a more psychological approach,” Ivy said.

“I’ve got it!”

Harley giggled, turned around without another word, and slammed the business end of her mallet between Dey’s legs.

He let out a blood-curdling scream and threw up on himself.

“TALK OR THAT WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!” Harley shrieked and immediately slipped into a hyena-like cackle.

Dey went slack in his seat and his face turned ghostly white.

Crane grabbed a large handful of fear powder and blew it into Dey’s face.

Ivy stepped forward and lifted her vines.

“I’m done waiting. Lena needs this answer. I think it’s time to torture Mr. William Fucking Dey until he gives us everything.”

Ivy injected her truth serum into Dey’s neck, and he cowered in horror at the sight of everyone and everything. Harley punched him in the face as hard as she could and hit him with the mallet one more time. He pissed himself and whimpered.

“Hopefully, Lena isn’t too cross with us when she sees how we’ve tenderized this lousy, no good, liar, but shucks, he’s just so fun to abuse,” Harley said with a big grin.

“Somehow I think she is going to be just fine if we can get an answer,” Ivy said with a sinister smile. “It’s only a matter of time.”

***

The lights were all off when they slipped through the window. Lena knew how to navigate the apartment with her eyes closed. As promised, Cat stayed near the window, standing guard.

Lena turned on the lamp and quickly made her way around the apartment, looking for any evidence that could shed some light on the truth.

She searched the kitchen and flipped through Kara’s mail and papers. She checked everything, but nothing seemed out of place. She checked under the couch for the journal, but it was missing. She didn’t see it anywhere.

“Do you see anything?” Cat asked.

“No. Anyone who didn’t know Kara well would think everything was completely normal. Her refrigerator is still empty and there are loads of telltale signs that this imposter is not her and doesn’t know her well enough to fool me.”

“We should go before she comes back.”

“Just give me one second. I need to do something.”

“Okay,” Cat whispered.

Lena walked to where Kara’s clothes were hanging and flipped through them. She ran her hand along each item, taking in the feel of the soft cotton. She pressed her fingertips to the shoulders as though Kara were standing before her. She searched and then she found _it_. She doubted the imposter would notice it was missing. Resting at the end of the clothing rack was the red sweater with black stripes that Lena loved on Kara so much.

_When I close my eyes and picture you, I always see you wearing this sweater. It was one of the most important moments of my life. That day you held me; I knew I would love no one as much as I love you._

Lena bit her lip again. Fighting back her tears was becoming a full-time job.

She removed the sweater from the hanger and pressed it to her face. She inhaled deeply and teared up.

_It smells like you. My dear, sweet, warm Kara._

“It’s time to go, Lena,” Cat whispered.

Lena nodded to Cat.

Suddenly she turned to Lena with a panicked look on her face.

“Superman. It’s Superman. He is flying this way.”

“Go. Climb back up to the roof right now. I’ll meet you back at my apartment.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be okay. Just go.”

Cat jumped out the window and slinked back up the side of the building.

Lena pulled off the cowl and claws and laid them on the table. Superman flew through the window and landed on the window ledge. He walked inside and stiffened when he saw Lena.

“What are you doing here, Lena? Where’s Kara? Why are you dressed like that?”

“Listen, we have little time, so I’ll cut to the chase. I know you hate Luthors, but I love Kara with all my heart. I don’t just love her. I’m madly, completely, head over heels in love with her. She’s been acting very strange. Stranger than I ever could have imagined. She’s been cruel, and she has been doing and saying things that make no sense at all. I broke into her apartment to see if I could find any clues because I believe the woman who is saying she is Kara Danvers is really an imposter. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I swear this is not what it looks like.”

Superman looked at Lena’s hand and smiled.

“It looks like you missed my cousin and wanted a keepsake. It looks like you’re a woman who loves her very much.”

Lena felt heat spread across her cheeks.

“Well, you caught me there,” Lena said.

She smiled and dropped her head coyly.

Superman approached Lena and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I believe you, Lena. That’s why I’m here. Something didn’t feel right when I talked to her. You have only confirmed my suspicions.”

“I’m so glad. I haven’t tried to tell Sam or Alex because I have no idea whether they will believe me.”

“Is it true you’ve been running with the bad girls from Gotham?” Superman asked with his signature grin.

“Your cousin really did a number on me… well, not your cousin. Jeez, I don’t know. I have been spending time with Cat, Ivy, and Harley. Things went south with Kara so fast. We were on our way to reconciling and I was going to tell her how I feel and then she just kicked me out of her life and wanted nothing to do with me. She said the cruelest things. We know Kara. She’s not cruel.”

“She isn’t. Far from it. When I spoke to her, she was very dismissive. She didn’t ask about my family; she didn’t seem to care about me or Metropolis. She was cold and hard. I knew there had to be something going on. The last time we spoke, she was almost giddy that the two of you had reconciled and were going to get together to take down Lex. I can’t believe she would ever be cruel to you. She loves you so much.”

Lena did her best to hold back her tears. She couldn’t explain why, but hearing how much Kara loved her from Superman himself was the validation she needed to keep herself together.

“I’m so happy to hear you say that. After the way, the imposter treated me, I started worrying that my feelings for Kara were one-sided and then I found a letter from her. Her journal was shoved under the couch and there was a letter addressed to me inside. The envelope was sealed so I’m sure the imposter didn’t read it. The letter was the most beautiful thing I have ever read. It was so quintessentially Kara. She confessed everything. She told me she was in love with me and she wanted us to be together. I knew at that moment that the woman passing herself off as Kara Danvers is nothing but a poor copy of our Kara.”

“Do you have any idea who the imposter is?”

“No idea. Cat, Harley, Ivy and Crane have been helping me. They were staking out Kara’s new boyfriend, William Dey.”

“Is it just me or is that guy a bit of a prick?” Superman asked with a grin.

Lena chuckled.

“Superman! I’m shocked. Usually you’re so mild-mannered. I agree with you completely. He is such a prick! He thinks he is God’s gift to women, but he is just a suntanned buffoon.”

Superman laughed.

“Don’t hold back, Lena. Tell me how you really feel.”

They both shared a chuckle, but Lena knew _she_ would be back at any moment.

“We should probably get out of here before she returns. I think she already knows I’m on to her, but I am trying to stay under the radar while we investigate.”

“So, the girls from Gotham City are helping you find the real Supergirl? And you call this outfit ‘under the radar’?”

Lena laughed and rested a hand on Superman’s shoulder.

“They are. I know they have a terrible reputation, but I assure you they are good people with good hearts.”

“How did you meet?”

“Please don’t make me answer that.”

Lena blushed and dropped her head.

Superman smiled.

“Now you have to tell me.”

“I was in Gotham City meeting with Bruce Wayne on business and I was feeling so low I could barely function. I saw an ad in the newspaper for a support group for people who had fallen in love with superheroes or supervillains and had their hearts broken. It seemed absolutely absurd, but I was really at my breaking point.”

Superman laughed and sat down on the couch.

“I’m sorry. I’m just having a hard time picturing a woman dressed like a cat, a plant woman, a rainbow psychopath, and a Luthor gathered together to share their feelings. I’m glad you found a group. Does it help? Do they help?”

“They do help, but the thing that really brought me back to life was figuring out that the Kara who was ruthless wasn’t _our_ Kara. Suddenly I felt like I could breathe again. I just wish I knew where she was and if she’s okay.”

“You know Kara is the strongest person on this planet. She is smart, brave, and I know she will do everything in her power to find her way back to you.”

“I love her so much, Superman.”

“I know, Lena. We are going to bring Kara home.”

“Thank you for believing me. I’m not so sure I would have had the same luck with Alex.”

“She’s a hard nut to crack, but she’ll come around. We just need to explain things to her.”

“The funny thing is, she’s in Metropolis right now with Sam Arias. They confessed their feelings to each other and have been catching up on lost time. I know Alex would have noticed the inconsistencies if she was around.”

“Why don’t I talk to Alex? She knows me and trusts me. If I explain things clearly, she will help. Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“What specifically gave her away? How did you know?”

“I’m ashamed to admit that it took me some time. We went through so much turmoil, I almost expected her to hate me. When the imposter was saying hurtful things, I was so busy thinking about everything I did wrong and how I deserved her anger that I didn’t see clearly that Kara would never treat me that way. She would never attack me. She would never kick me out of her life forever.”

“That definitely doesn’t sound like Kara.”

“When I came to see her, there were all these little signs that told me she wasn’t really our Kara. She was drinking hot tea, reading ‘The Great Gatsby’, she wasn’t using a throw, and her refrigerator was practically empty.”

Superman rubbed Lena’s shoulder and smiled.

“You’re right. That all sounds very wrong, especially the empty refrigerator. Her appetite is ferocious. My cousin is lucky to have a friend who knows her so well.”

“When you love someone with all your heart, you want to know everything about them. Even when we were fighting, I wanted to know her.”

“I’ll fly to Metropolis immediately and find Alex. I’ll explain everything to her and see if she and Sam will join the team. We have to find the real Kara.”

“I hope Alex believes me.”

“Oh, don’t worry. She will.”

“Thanks, Superman. I really appreciate your help. Alex has my number. Have her call me if you can sway her.”

Superman headed for the open window.

“Be safe, Lena, and no more breaking and entering. Okay?”

“Deal,” Lena said with a wink.

**“Cold Is the Night,” by the Oh Hellos.**

**<https://open.spotify.com/track/0TgaaBAEf84VqvdTshIdPw?si=70LWc0FgSHOexxJTBitsUw> **

Left alone in Kara’s apartment, her longing overwhelmed her. She sat on the end of Kara’s bed and rubbed her hand over the bedspread. She buried her face in Kara’s sweater and wept uncontrollably. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed. She just sat there and released all the pain and longing in her heart. She knew she needed to leave, but she felt connected to Kara when she was in her apartment. Things didn’t feel so hopeless when she could feel her all around.

She laid back on the bed, rolled over and sobbed. Holding Kara’s sweater to her face and inhaling deeply, she thought about the moment she and Kara shared on her couch after Jack died. She thought of the first moment they met and the butterflies that rumbled through her stomach when she saw Kara’s smile. Those butterflies never went away. Every time she saw Kara was like the first time.

“Where are you, Kara? I miss you so much I can barely breathe.”

Suddenly, she heard a noise. She turned over and looked around the apartment, but she didn’t see anyone.

“Time to go,” she whispered to herself.

She held onto Kara’s sweater and pressed it to her cheek once more. She knew in her heart that _her_ Kara wouldn’t begrudge her anything that would bring her comfort. Lena turned off the light and headed to the window to make her escape.

“Hello, Lena,” a voice said behind her.

Before Lena could turn around, she felt a sharp searing pain in the back of her head, and everything went black.

***

Tears flowed from Dey’s eyes and his lip quivered as he fought the effects of Ivy’s truth serum. He mumbled nonsensically at first, and then the words flowed. Ivy’s serum forced each word from his mouth by force. His brow furrowed and his jaw clenched as he fought against his restraints in vain.

_"Я солдат. Я спал, но теперь проснулся. Красная Дочь заняла свое законное место в Нэшнл Сити. Чтобы причинить боль Лексу Лютору, Лина Лютор должна умереть. Грядет расплата."_

Crane, Harley, and Ivy all looked at each other confused.

“Do either of you know Russian? At least I think that’s what he is speaking,” Crane said.

Ivy and Harley both shook their heads.

Crane pulled out his phone.

“Here. Get him to say it again and I’ll open a translation app. It won’t be perfect, but it may give us enough.”

Crane opened the app and held the phone up to Dey’s face.

“Say it again!” Harley said.

Dey shook his head and whimpered.

“Looks like the punk is gonna need some more convincing,” Harley said with a grin.

Ivy’s vines jutted forward and wrapped around his chair. She pulled him closer.

Crane pulled out another handful of fear powder, and Dey cringed and cowered.

“SAY IT AGAIN,” Crane yelled.

Harley grabbed Crane’s shoulder and smiled.

“Holy hell, doc, you’re terrifying when you want to be.”

“Thank you,” Crane said with a thumbs up.

Dey gave in and mumbled in Russian once more.

_"Я солдат. Я спал, но теперь проснулся. Красная Дочь заняла свое законное место в Нэшнл Сити. Чтобы причинить боль Лексу Лютору, Лина Лютор должна умереть. Грядет расплата."_

Crane held the phone closer and watched as the translation app processed the words.

“Oh, God,” Crane said, horrified.

“What is it?” Ivy asked.

“Read this.”

Crane held the phone up for Ivy to read. Her face dropped, and she shook her head in disbelief.

***

_Pain, darkness, the taste of blood._

Immobile, restrained, terrified, and shaken, Lena couldn’t help but wonder if this was the end. She closed her eyes, and she could see Kara. She imagined they were locked in a warm embrace and kissed passionately. Her smile, her warm blue eyes, and the feel of her arms wrapped tightly around her were Lena’s comfort now. Whoever had taken her could take her freedom, her security, even her life, but they couldn’t take away her dream of Kara. They couldn’t take away her home. 

***

Ivy read the translation aloud.

**_YA soldat. YA spal, no teper' ya prosnulsya. Krasnaya Doch' zanyala svoye zakonnoye mesto v Neshnl-Siti. Chtoby prichinit' bol' Leksu Lyutoru, Lena Lyutor dolzhna umeret'. Priblizhayetsya rasplata._ **

_“_ It says ‘I’m a soldier. I was asleep, but now I’m awake. Red Daughter has taken her rightful place in National City. To hurt Lex Luthor, Lena Luthor must die. Reckoning is coming.’ Who the hell is Red Daughter?” Ivy asked.

They were all startled when Crane’s phone rang.

Ivy picked up the call on speakerphone.

“Crane, where are you three?”

“We are extracting information from Dey,” Crane said.

“Lena asked you to watch him, not torture him. She was afraid you were going to take matters into your own hands.”

“I know, but we have something. It could be a genuine lead, but you need to protect Lena with your life. It sounds like she is in grave danger.”

“What? What do you mean? I’m not with her.”

“Why not?”

“Superman showed up at Supergirl’s apartment. Lena had me leave and said she would be right behind me.”

“You need to go back and find her,” Ivy said. “I’m worried.”

“I’ll go right now. What’s the lead?” Cat asked.

“It turns out Dey isn’t just some overly tanned Brit. He’s a Russian sleeper agent. Have you ever heard of someone named ‘Red Daughter?” Ivy asked.

“No. Should I know the name?”

“No, but I think she might be the woman who is masquerading as Supergirl. Dey mentioned Lex Luthor, and that they intended to kill Lena.”

“Shit. I’ll go now. I don’t know why I left,” Cat said without a hint of her playful character’s rolling Rs or meows.

Ivy’s vines vibrated and wrapped themselves around her. They only did that when Ivy was truly scared, and she wasn’t afraid of much.

“Let’s meet back at Lena’s place. I’m going to wipe Dey’s mind with my serum and we will drop him off in front of his building. We need to find Lena now.”

“I’m on it,” Cat said.

Ivy disconnected the call. The three villains stood in front of a broken, bleeding, vomit covered William Dey and got to work wiping his memory.

***

**“It’s Okay”, by Tom Rosenthal**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/2Iyfw8YfKruAagJwGc4G07?si=1Rat-_MLTxOVs6xuTtKB7g**

Lena awoke to a dizzying pain in her head. She was cold, wet, and discombobulated. There was no illumination in the room except a dim light bulb that hung bare from the ceiling. The corners of the cell were bathed in eerie shadow. She moved her arms and legs. Freed of her restraints, she stretched and rubbed her arms, seeking warmth. She felt around on the ground and found Kara’s sweater lying next to her. She pulled it to her heart and squeezed.

She blinked her eyes until the room came into focus. Still feeling weak and delirious, Lena didn’t dare stand. She surveyed her surroundings. Cold, rusty metal, a thick door with a sophisticated locking system. No windows, no comforts. She knew this was a prison. The surrounding floor was wet. She slid her body over to a dry spot. Leaks from the ceiling rained down rusty water. The cell had a strange feel. It was at the same time both incredibly old and very modern. The rusted metal felt aged and made her mouth taste like pennies but there were cameras, a keypad near the door and what looked like a one-way drawer in the wall, presumably for food and water or at least she hoped that was its purpose.

The dim light made it difficult to see much detail. She could just make out a small metal cot and a strange lump laying on top. She didn’t dare hope it could be her Kara, but she had to check. She crawled over to the corner, fighting the wave of nausea that overcame her with each move. She slowly extended a hand to the figure she now made out as a person wrapped in a cheap blanket and gently touched her fingers to the scratchy material.

“Hello,” Lena whispered, as her fingers made contact. Suddenly the figure turned around, leaped up, and threw the blanket off. Lena stood up and moved back, unsure of who or what was going to emerge from the blanket. Lena’s heart warmed over when she saw Kara’s blue eyes staring back at her. Her heart sank when she saw the look on Kara’s face. Her brows were sharp, her eyes were bloodshot red and narrowed. She screamed and wrapped her hands around Lena’s neck.

“Kara! Kara it’s me Lena,” she said, gasping through Kara’s grip.

Kara’s eyes softened and filled with tears. She let go of Lena’s neck and covered her mouth in horror.

“Lena? Is that you? Oh Rao! What did I do?”

Lena grinned. Her eyes glassed over, and she threw her arms around Kara’s neck and squeezed tight.

“My Kara.”

**To be continued in….**

**“Red Daughter Resurrected" - https://archiveofourown.org/works/29133546**

Happy Reading!


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